Puzzles
by WhippedByAnAngel
Summary: AU: When John Winchester died, Dean's life lost direction and broke into pieces. Through his younger brother's tutoring lessons to a certain Gabriel Novak, he meets Castiel, an eccentric young man who seems obsessed with puzzles. Destiel. SLASH.
1. Something Blue in the Memory Lane

**AN: **Hello, I'm back with another story. This one's AU, as so said in the summary. I intentionally wanted this as a oneshot, but as I continued writing it down, it started reaching 5k word count and I wasn't even on the middle of it yet, so in order to avoid myself from trying to size it down, I decided to make it a multi-chaptered story. I know it would be more tedious to do so but I just couldn't continue writing it as a oneshot and not try to lessen the word count on the process of doing so. Either way, please enjoy and tell me what you think of it. I know there won't be much to suggest as this chapter serves as the introduction, but if you have something in mind, do tell me in a form of a review.

**Word count: **1,188

* * *

**_Puzzles_**

Dean tapped his finger impatiently on the wheel, waiting for the red light to turn green. His face was absent though, his eyes unfocused, staring blindly ahead. Sam was sitting beside him, glancing at his brother through his peripheral vision. He gave a fake cough, trying to get Dean's attention.

"Yeah, Sammy?" Dean turned to Sam distractedly.

"Green. "

"Huh?"

"The light's green, Dean." He explained patiently. Dean looked dumbfounded for a second, and then the car lurched forward, smoothly following the road before them. Sam shook his head resignedly and stared outside. They hadn't been talking for weeks. Sam knew Dean was going through a hard phase right now, but all he did was lock himself up completely. It was like talking to a shell, or a programmed robot, like Dean wasn't really there and Sam tried to reach out to him, God knows he did, but Dean always shoved him away with his shrugs and declarations of "I'm fine." Dean was always stubborn; there was no changing that, whatever happens.

"So… why are you doing this again? It's not like I don't have a job." Dean's voice broke through Sam's contemplation. He noticed the awkward atmosphere, and pretended to be interested in order to delay Sam's confrontations. He knew his baby brother have noticed his distant behavior…it's just not what he needed right now.

"We could really use the extra money." Sam answered carefully, hoping his answer won't make Dean think about the reason why they needed the additional income.

"Uh-huh. So who will you be tutoring, exactly?" Dean asked, ignoring Sam's careful act around him.

"Uh, his name's Gabriel, Gabriel Novak."

"The short guy who's always eating sweets? You gonna make him your salad disciple or something?"

"Ha-ha, Dean, I'm dying of laughter." Sam rolled his eyes and put on a bitch-face clearly reserved just for his brother.

"Hey. I aim to please." Dean quipped.

The engine stopped and both brothers momentarily stared at the house they parked in front of. It looked cozy, and probably actually is: A not-so-small house with a 2nd floor and a chimney to match the suburban spirit. The lawn was freshly cut, the mower left outside the garage, and light spilled out from the windows.

"Huh." Dean absently remarked, getting out of the Impala. He heard Sam close his door too and figured out that his younger brother was also staring.

_Ding dong._

The short boy, Gabriel, was the one to open the door, his eyes widening in excitement as he saw Sam's frame. Same gave an embarrassed smile and pointed Dean with his head.

"Hi Gabe. My brother, Dean." Gabriel shook Dean's hand rather stiffly, Dean's eyebrow rising at the act. He turned to Sam with a questioning glance. Sam answered him with a shrug. After the introductions, Gabriel let them in, leading them, Dean mostly, to the living room.

"So, if it's okay with you, Dean-o," Dean glared at Gabriel, already deciding that he did not like the guy, "you'll be staying with my brother for company." Dean stopped in his tracks and stared in front of him. There was a man, sitting on the couch, probably older than him, black hair framing his face as he hunched over the coffee table. The concentrated stare of the man wasn't the one which caught Dean's attention, it was what he seemed to be doing: the man was gingerly fingering what looked like puzzle pieces as a puzzle frame was laid on the coffee table in front of him. It looked half-done, but it was a motherfucking big puzzle, well, not really, just the biggest Dean had ever seen.

"Dean, this is my brother, Castiel, Cassie, this is Dean, Sam's brother."

"Please don't call me Cassie, Gabriel. And hello, Dean." Dean shuddered; the man's voice was gravelly, deep and rich. His eyes never left the puzzle frame as he greeted Dean.

"Sure, Cassie." Castiel winced while Gabriel and Sam proceeded to go upstairs to start the lessons. Dean stared for a minute, before deciding to make himself comfortable on the couch opposite to Castiel. He realized that the other man was not going to invite him to sit, anyway.

10 minutes passed and Castiel never looked at him once, nor gave any indication that he knew Dean was sitting there. He kept comparing pieces, and once in a while, frowning when he got them wrong. Dean stared idly, undecided whether he should feel insulted for being ignored or grateful for the silence. He studied Castiel. His hair was raven and messy, like bed-hair messy. The kind of messy that screamed hours of rough sex. He blushed at the thought. The guy was pale white, in contrast to the black coat he was wearing with matching black slacks. He sighed. Boredom made him ogle a guy. So much for being a good big brother. Now he's just going to rot his eyes out until Sam comes down from upstairs with sweets boy.

He stared at Castiel again. The guy was deeply focused on the puzzle that it bothered him. He swore this was illegal in some states. He shook his head and studied the room. For a cozy looking house on the outside, the inside didn't seem to live up to the standard. The wall was painted dirty white, and now that Dean noticed, there were no picture frames hanging on the walls nor standing on the tables. The only decoration in the room was the empty vase standing on the side table and wall clock above it which was also plain looking. Dean rolled his eyes. Great, even the surroundings wasn't helping him alleviate the boredom.

After two hours, an eternity for Dean though, Sam finally came down, Gabriel tailing him.

_Finally._ Dean thought, giving a big sigh of relief. He stood up and turned to Sam with a look that clearly said "if-you-wanted-to-kill-me-you-could-have-just-said -so." Sam raised a questioning brow at this and turned to Castiel, who looked like he never even budged from his seat after he and Gabriel went upstairs.

"Had fun, Cassie?" Gabriel asked good-naturedly. Dean rolled his eyes. _Sure he had fun. He's doing a puzzle for fuck's sake._

"Of course. " Castiel replied steadily, and for once, he raised his head and stared at Dean, his face impassive. Dean felt rooted as those shocking blue eyes met him, and he knew, at the moment, he had never seen anything so beautiful. The man was definitely attractive, even he couldn't deny that. And there was something in those pools of blue that reminded him of the beach in California he went to when he was young. He absently clenched and unclenched his hands as the memories started playing on his head.

_Dean, baby, be careful, okay?_

_I'll just go and do some baby patrol, you go ahead and take a swim, huh, son?_

He tore his gaze away, almost begrudgingly, from Castiel when he heard Sam clear his throat.

"Right. Let's go, Sammy." Sam looked confused but decided to ignore it since Dean was not in a conversable mood for the past weeks, anyway.

**_To Be Continued_**


	2. Following Dating Advices

**AN: **And I'm back! Thank you for the support, I hope to make it up to you guys with this chapter. It won't be much since I don't want to rush it. If there''s gonna be some Destiel loving here, I want to take it step by step. Like what SPN is doing. It took 4 seasons to build their relationship. But of course, I'm not gonna make it as long as that, I know how it feels to wait for something you want so badly. So, thank you in advance for your patience!

I'm going off track with the original story so it's taking me too long to update since I have to adjust everything. Hopefully, I don't lose the scene I like the most.

No more word count for now, I lost track, and honestly, I don't think you guys even care. And so, if you want to suggest something, or just tell me anything, leave a review. But if you want to talk about Misha Collins and Destiel feels, you can actually PM me! I'd appreciate it a lot! :)

**Disclaimer: **SPN will never, ever be mine! But I hope Misha Collins will.

* * *

_**Puzzles**_

**Dating Advice: Laugh at his or her jokes**

Sam had to tutor Gabriel thrice a week: every Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. The pay was good so Dean decided not to complain even if he was bored to death every fucking time. Castiel continued to ignore him every meeting, not that he wanted the older man's attentions (why would he, anyway?), but it was _boring_ as hell. He couldn't just leave Sam there, and it was always cold back at their home. They didn't have a chimney, unlike the Novak's.

Also, the meetings didn't coincide with his work since his part-time shifts waiting tables in the Roadhouse are every Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

So all in all, Dean could say that the deal was good and he told himself that he has nothing to worry about it. None at all. Not even those blue eyes that after seeing them for the first time, Dean had a dream about his parents which he hasn't done for a long time. However, he couldn't discern if it was good dream or a nightmare.

"Hey, Dean? You alright?" Lisa Braeden, his co-worker and past lover, tapped his shoulder, squeezing it gently.

Dean turned to her and stared. Lisa had always been beautiful to Dean. And she was the only woman whom he thought he could have an apple pie life with—well not until she cheated on him once and got knocked up. She has a son now named Ben, and even though the boy wasn't his, he will always be dear to Dean. Because Ben could have been his. _Theirs_. Lisa just had to screw it up. When he realized that he was once more spacing out, he shook his head and smile at her. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Lisa smiled back, her hand continued to rest on his shoulder. "Well, I think you finally decided to bang the wall." She lifted her other and pointed to the wall to stress her point.

"I don't know. That's too fast, don't you think? You know we just met yesterday, so why would you say that?" Dean played along. It was true. He was recently transferred to this cubicle just the day before. Long story short, Alastair got to his nerves, got himself punched by Dean, and Bobby, totally being neutral about the affair among his subordinates, decided to suspend Alastair for provoking and relocated Dean to another cubicle.

Lisa laughed, shaking her head gently. "You were giving her that intense stare you always have when you are about to…" _…proposition to me. _Dean knew what she meant even if she left the sentence hanging. He also knew that Lisa did it on purpose. It should have disturbed him that Lisa was hinting at something, perhaps to rekindle their "love" or some touchy-feely shit like that. Dean mentally shuddered at that. It wasn't that he can't learn to love Lisa again, in fact, a small part in him still does, it was just that… he can never learn to trust her again with what she did to him. What did disturb him, however, was that if it was true that he has that intense stare awhile ago, why the hell is that so when at that moment, he was thinking of the older Novak?

"You think so? Well that's good. With legs like that I don't think she'd be able to run around." Lisa's breath hitched and the hand on his shoulder finally let go. It was low, he knew that, especially when the other person was just trying to have a normal conversation.

"You know I'm sorry, Dean. It's been three years. If I can just turn back time and—"

"But you can't." He cut her off. He didn't want to hear this anymore. It's been said to many times. Why would it matter anyway? It's done. He was hurt.

"Say hi for me to Ben." Lisa knew this was his way of dismissing her. She sighed, gave a stiff nod and left.

"Barney's mother still trying to pull you in the family?" Great. If someone had to witness what happened, it just had to be Jo.

"You could say that, and it's Ben. Not Barney. Geez, how old are you, Joanna Beth?" Dean teased. He loved having an excuse to call Jo by her full name.

Jo snorted and glared at him, her arms crossed on her chest. "Don't call me that, Deanna. And you should watch How I Met Your Mother if you don't understand my reference."

"How you met my mom? You weren't even—"

"I'm talking about a series, like your stupid Dr. Sexy MD and his cowboy boots. At least Ted looks good in his red ones." Jo explained as she rolled her eyes.

Dean grunted. Leave it to Jo to insult his only guilty pleasure. "Dr. Sexy is not stupid. And he's sexy in those cowboy boots!"

"And you're supposed to be straight." She pointed out.

"Damn right, baby girl. Want me to prove it to you?" He smirked at the disgusted face Jo was pulling. Suddenly, a flash of blue invaded his mind but was soon gone before he could even recognize it.

"No thanks, Dean. Hey, uhm, can you take my shift in the Roadhouse for tonight?" Jo asked, her smile too wide for Dean's liking.

"Really? After insulting me and my precious Dr. Sexy MD, you're going to ask a favor now? You really know how to ask them favors, huh?"

Jo found herself rolling her eyes once more. "Look, just, please? I'll owe you."

"Nope." Dean returned the wide smile after stressing the p.

"Please, Deaaan, I have a date."

"Me too." He froze. He has a date? That was stupid, of course he doesn't have one, but Sammy has his tutoring lessons today. It was Friday after all. So why didn't he just tell the truth? He looked at Jo who seemed to be buying his excuse. Her lips were pursed and her eyes were like staring right at his soul. Dean fidgeted uncomfortably on his seat.

"With who? Lisa?"

Dean groaned. "God, no. I'm not stupid."

"Then with who?"

"I'm sorry, last time I checked, mom passed away years ago." Dean snapped, clearly annoyed at Jo's prying.

"Fine. As long as it's not Barney's mother." She nodded and turned away.

"It's Ben!"

* * *

"You could help." Dean suddenly turned to Castiel, not really sure if the guy indeed spoke or he was just hallucinating out of boredom. Apparently, this was the date he was referring to awhile ago to Jo. Dean had never felt so much regret. Waiting tables at the Roadhouse was infinitely better than this, even if he had Ellen going at his tail every minute.

Before he could answer the older man, he suddenly heard loud laughter coming from above. He rolled his eyes. Glad to know his brother was having fun upstairs when he was having the time of his life down here. It couldn't be more exciting than this, playing ignore-you-ignore-me game. And they were getting to the best part even, the one where Castiel talks to him without looking at him in the eyes. He fucking loves that shit.

"Uh, yeah. Help with what?" He cleared his throat before realizing the stupidity that came out from his mouth. In his defense, it would be startling to know that the man previously ignoring you started to realize you're existing.

"The puzzle." Of course, the goddamned puzzle. In all honesty, Dean didn't want to. He was very much comfortable with his own game, especially because the other man didn't know he was also playing it. And that Castiel was _winning_. By landslide. Hmm, might as well forfeit.

"Yeah, okay." He reached for some puzzle pieces and copied Castiel, comparing and placing them on the frame. Silence reigned between the two men as they worked.

"You know, Castiel's a mouthful." Dean said, trying to initiate small talk. If the man was talking to him, he might as well make the most out of it before he returns to being mute again.

Dean waited but Castiel merely continued to work on the puzzle. Just when he decided he was being ignored again, a gruff reply came. "Cassie is too."

Dean shook his head violently. "What? No! I wasn't planning to call you that, unless you want me to—"

"Don't even finish that." Dean grinned.

"Right. How about Cas?"

"Why do you even need to provide a nickname for me? I don't find talks actually engaging."

Dean gave him a smirk. "You think I don't know that? Sherlock's my middle name. And Greist, 'coz I'm stubborn."

"Oh, Dean Sherlock Greist Winchester is your full name then? It is odd." Dean stared incredulously at the innocent face Castiel was pulling. The man had finally turned to him, confusion written in his eyes. He suddenly recognized the flash of blue that crossed his mind awhile ago.

"Seriously, dude? I understand if you don't know Greist, he wasn't mentioned much but Holmes? From what era are you?"

Castiel pursed his lips and then returned his attention to the puzzle. "I believe we're both from the modern era, Dean, unless you were born before 1946."

Dean gaped at the guy. He didn't know if the man was being sarcastic or just that he took all things literally. He found himself laughing.

"Oh man, you're really something." Castiel looked like he was going to argue, that you shouldn't refer a human with something, but he decided against it. This just made Dean laugh even more. And once it started, he couldn't stop. It had been his first laugh, after all, since his father died. After a few more chuckles, he finally calmed down. He started to pick up puzzle pieces again and compared them to the frame, chuckling once in a while. After ten more minutes, Dean finally fell into an agreeable silence as the both of them focused on the task before them.

"Cas is manageable." Castiel said quietly. Dean's hand stopped in mid-air as he looked up to the man, a smile breaking into his face.

After that, the two of them continued to work quietly until Sam came, smirking at the sight of his older brother immersed in a puzzle, and told Dean they were done for the day.

Sam could laugh all he wanted, but Dean was definitely telling Joanna Beth tomorrow that his date was awesome.

**To Be Continued**


	3. Castiel Finds Rear Pinches Irritating

**AN: **Hello beloved readers! I'm sorry I couldn't follow through my promise that I would be updating this yesterday (said promise what written in my other story,_ **Pretense**_). I've been since, and I had to work on my student driving license earlier this morning so time wasn't really my ally today. I hope a little bit of Destiel tension will make up for it! :) Tell me what you think. I've decided to put some Castiel POV in the story for you guys to further understand his character. I just hoped it will be consistent with his actions and dialogues. A review at the end wouldn't hurt and it will be much appreciated! :) Now on with the story.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own SPN, nor Castiel, the sassiest angel there is (You'll agree with me when you've watched 8x21 already).

* * *

**_Puzzles_**

**Chapter 3: Castiel Finds Rear Pinches Irritating**

* * *

_Dearest Castiel._

_You dick. You might have left but that doesn't me you had to sever all ties from this house. If you haven't noticed, it's mum and dad you have problems with, not me! I miss you and Gabriel terribly. Luke and Mike aren't exactly people I want to hang out with or tell my problems to. You could've taken me with you. I could call you but I know if mum finds out, I wouldn't hear the end of it. So try to write to me in the address attached, okay? I really hope to hear from you, Castiel. It's so lonely here._

_ Love Always,_

_Anna._

Castiel frowned as he read the letter. It has just been three months before he and Gabriel moved away and his little sister already knows how to use the word dick. He knew his older brother Luke had something to do with this. Luke wasn't really the type to care about his audience when he goes on a swearing spree. He sighed. That wasn't his fault, right? Anna would learn how to use the word sooner or later, right? He can't regret leaving, not now. He put down the mug he was holding with his other hand on the table. A small part of him reminded him that Anna wouldn't be so lonely as she mentioned in her letter if he didn't move away. He sighed again.

"Hey Cassie, that's two sighs in a row. Anael's letter can't be that bad?" Castiel jumped at the voice of his brother. He turned around and glared at Gabriel. Gabriel, who had a lollipop stuffed in his mouth and was sitting by the window, merely smirked at the glare his brother was sporting.

"For the last time, it's Castiel."

Gabriel snorted. "Right, right. How's Anna? And why is it that I haven't got any letter from the twerp?"

Castiel shook his head. "Anna is not annoying, Gabe. You are. And to answer your question, sending out two letters would be risky."

"Well, mum and dad aren't really Sherlock material, you know?" Gabriel pouted. Truth be told but he missed his little sister, no matter how she annoys him sometimes.

The older brother held a thoughtful gaze for a moment. "Are you talking about Sam Winchester's brother?"

"Huh? What's that buck-o got to do with this?"

"He said his name was Dean Sherlock Greist Winchester." Castiel nodded slowly, assuring himself that he remembered right. Sometimes, it was hard for him to remember small details.

He jumped a little again when his younger brother suddenly started laughing very loud.

"Why are you laughing?" He hissed. He never enjoyed being laughed at. Well, most of the time, he admitted mentally as he remembered Dean's laughter from yesterday. Hearing the eldest Winchester laugh brought a fluttery feeling of warmth Castiel didn't understand.

"Don't get your panties in a twist," Castiel scowled at this. It was ridiculous to assume that he was wearing panties. "…almost forgot you were always the good son before you suddenly rebelled."

Realization finally dawned on Castiel. "That's not his real name, then?"

Gabriel shook his head, still laughing a little. "Nope, not his full name anyway. Pretty sure it's just Dean Winchester."

Castiel gave an understanding nod. It was difficult for him to follow casual, everyday conversations. Their parents had brought him up a little (way more, in Gabriel's opinion) stricter than his siblings, since he seemed to obey everything they said when he was younger. He never read books that weren't about his academic subjects nor did he listen to music. His parents actually referred to music as Satan's greatest invention to influence mankind to do evil and little Castiel believed it.

"You seem to be getting along with Dean-o, huh?"

Castiel absently gave a nod. "He keeps talking to me."

Gabriel shrugged and stood up, throwing the lollipop stick on the trash bin beside Castiel. He unceremoniously snatched the letter from his brother's grip.

"You do know Anna's birthday is 15 days from now."

Castiel's jaw slacked. "Really?"

Gabriel shook his head, his eyes for a moment flashing with pity but it was gone when he leveled his gaze with his brother. "Yeah, big bro. What are we gonna get her?"

"Let's discuss that when I get back from work." Castiel nodded and took the letter from Gabriel. Taking a few steps to reach the table, he carefully placed the folded letter on top of it as he grabbed his mug of coffee.

"Ready for school, Gabe?"

"You betcha. Wait for ya at the garage." The senior student waved and proceeded to go outside. Castiel took a final sip from his coffee. He sighed, another day at the office. He was a newly-hired accountant working at Sheppard Auditing Firm. He couldn't still figure out if he liked working for Crowley. The pay was great, yes, but his boss sometimes made him very uncomfortable. He thought of Gabriel who solely relied on him and told himself that he needed the job, personal sentiments aside.

He strode to the living room to get out of the house but stopped at his tracks when his peripheral vision caught the sight of his unfinished puzzle on the coffee table. Smiling lightly, he raised his left arm to check the time. Satisfied that they were five minutes early from their usual routine, he sat down on his usual place on the couch and immersed himself in the puzzle.

Gabriel was 30 minutes late when reached his classroom. And when Sam gave him a _puzzled _look, the infuriated student could only glare.

* * *

Work didn't go well for Dean today. Alastair was back in the office. The sadistic bastard always made sure that he had a smug face on whenever Dean passed by him to go to Bobby's office. It irked Dean to no end and he wondered why Bobby hadn't fired him yet. Alastair had a long history of harassing co-workers, male or female. And to think that wasn't the worst part of his day. Lisa seemed to be everywhere. After their conversation days earlier, Lisa somehow picked up that Dean wasn't still over the fact that she cheated on him, that he wasn't still over them… as ridiculous it may sound. So she made it a point to talk to him or just brush by him, or just step on the fucking tiles he stepped on to the best of her abilities. She even had the nerve to open up his father's death, saying she was sorry for his loss and John was a good man. That was what drew the line for him.

"Lisa, don't. Don't pretend you even care about the man."

Lisa seemed taken aback, as well as insulted. "I met your father twice, and he was nice to me. I know why you're acting like this… Honey, you're still hurting." Lisa tried to give him a reassuring squeeze on the army but Dean flinched away.

Dean drew in a sharp breath and willed himself to stay cool. "Maybe, I'd rather not talk about it. How's Ben?" He offered. The sudden glint in Lisa's eyes confirmed his thoughts that he may never be off her case.

So when he sat down opposite to Castiel, all he did was thank the heavens above for the silence. Even if people who knew him might think he was being weird to be actually this happy just because of a puzzle, Dean realized he didn't mind one bit. If this was what it took to take his mind of off things he didn't want to be thinking of at the moment, then he'd gladly work on the puzzle with the silent man named after an angel.

Getting all serious on his task to help Cas finish the puzzle, Dean started to realize that it was difficult to work on the puzzle while seated opposite to Castiel, since the puzzle frame was faced towards Castiel, and was upside down to him. He scratched his head at this, but decided to say nothing. He was just helping, nothing more.

However, Castiel seemed to notice the dilemma Dean was just contemplating.

"You can sit beside me, if you want." Castiel offered. Dean thought he heard wrong, but when Castiel patted the seat beside him without taking his eyes off the pieces, Dean felt obliged to do so. He stood up, carefully walked around the coffee table and awkwardly sat beside the man, careful to leave a space between them where he could still keep his dignity intact when Sam suddenly walks in on them.

_Freaking psychic._

Minutes passed and they once more fell into their silent routine of picking up puzzle pieces to see if they fit on the puzzle frame. What disrupted this peaceful rhythm, however, were their fingers brushing each other as they reach for the same piece. Dean withdrew his hand as if scorched, while Castiel calmly picked the piece, ignoring Dean's reaction. Dean suddenly realized his heart was beating fast.

_What the fuck?_

_Just the dry spell._ He assured himself. Indeed it has been months since he had any intimate interactions with the opposite sex. That was it. He probably just missed the warm feeling of skin against his. Dean unconsciously cleared his throat, only realizing doing so when he look at the guy beside him only to find back eyes of blue looking back.

"Yes?" Castiel tilted his head lightly in confusion. He wondered if they had cough medicine since the Winchester seemed to be suffering from a sore throat.

Dean found the gesture endearingly cute. He scanned his brain for something to say. "U-uh… How's your day?"

Castiel studied him for a moment then turned back to the puzzle. "Fine. My boss has been irritable."

"I see. What's he doing that's making you tick?"

The older man thought for a moment. "You are asking what he is doing to annoy me… right?"

Dean frowned but nodded anyway.

Castiel seemed please with himself upon understanding the meaning of the figurative use of the verb tick. "He insists on pinching my rear even if I do not recall doing anything wrong with the financial statements I was working on."

Dean whipped his head towards the man, his eyes wide. "Are you in a relationship with your boss?"

"Yes." The man answered simply.

"Really?" Dean didn't know why but it bothered him.

"He is my boss; I work for him. Is that not what you were referring to?"

"No, that's not it, Cas. I mean, romantic-wise? The whole kissing and little hearts on the head thing?"

"Oh… That relationship. No, I do not find it pleasant to be in a relationship with a man constantly pinching my buttocks. Why?" The indifference Castiel showed made Dean think of another question.

"Are you gay, Cas?"

He titled his head again before answering. "I believe I am indifferent to sexual orientation, Dean."

"Huh." Dean remarked, flabbergasted for a moment.

"Will that change anything?"

Dean shook his head, not even thinking twice. "Of course not." Dean Winchester is not, by any way, insensitive to the different sexuality mankind has. It was ridiculous for anyone to think otherwise. It was just that he didn't peg Castiel as someone bisexual. It made him smile to know these things about the man. A few weeks before, the man even refused to acknowledge his presence but now, Cas was actually telling him something about himself. It was a good start.

"You have a beautiful smile, Dean." Castiel suddenly said, catching Dean off-guard.

Dean raised his eye brow in amusement. "Is that you hitting on me, Cas?"

Cas gave him a confused look. "How could I hit you, Dean? My hands were on the table the whole time."

Dean rolled his eyes and smiled again. "Never mind."

Castiel stared blankly at him for awhile, and then his mouth suddenly curled upward into a small smile that made Dean's breath hitch. His eyes zeroed on the pink chapped lips and he absently licked his own lips.

"You also have a beautiful smile." Dean said sincerely. They stared at each other for what seemed like a long time, Dean losing himself on those cerulean orbs that looked back at him. When he noticed what he was doing, he gulped and looked away.

"...right, the puzzle." Castiel merely nodded, his focus already back on the puzzle.

All was well.

* * *

Well, not really.

"We don't have to talk about it."

"Dean, I've given you months all to yourself, don't you think it's about time we talk about it? Because clearly there's something wrong with you!" Sam berated. They were on the dining room, trying to finish a decent meal, if you could call canned viands decent, when Sam suddenly confronted Dean about how he's taking the tragedy and that their relationship is suffering because of his reluctance to discuss the subject.

"I said I'm fine!" He snapped at Sam. Dean angrily turned to his brother only to find Sam giving that look. Like a lost, wounded puppy that will never be happy again. Dean's anger quickly melted into a feeling akin to guilt.

_He always does this. Goddamn it._

"Aren't you tired of this, Sam? Confronting me about it? I clearly don't want to talk about it. Okay? I'm sorry if you get to suffer out of this but dude, just let this go. Please." He whispered the last part. Dean Winchester rarely begged. He was not ready yet, damn it. Why did Sam have to be so pushy? He would talk if he was ready... maybe. Either way, it was his feelings so it was his own damn business and brother or not, Sam had no right to butt his way in. He knew what Sam was feeling, really. He knew he was just trying to reach out, because their relationship right now is strained, even to him that was clear. But…he just can't… Not yet.

"I'm not." Sam's voice put him out of his reverie. "I will never be tired of it, Dean. You're my brother and I care about you. All we have is each other, as of now. So no, I won't let this go. I'll wait though." Dean opened his mouth just to close it. He had no answer to that…fortunately, he happened to glance at his watch.

"Car, now." Sam looked surprised, and then his face shifted to understanding. It was Wednesday.

As they reached the Novak's, Dean went straight to the living room without even waiting for Gabriel nor Sam to walk with him there and sat beside Castiel. He sighed deeply with relief and looked at the man beside him without being obvious. He was indeed grateful for the silence.

And when the man turned to him with a small smile on his face, Dean could feel the anger slowly dissipating into nothing.

"Hello, Dean."

"Hi, Cas."

**To Be Continued**

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Don't forget to drop a review!


	4. Forever Incomplete

**AN**: Hello beloved readers! Sorry for the delay. :( It's a bitch writing this, since I'm having major blocks and I hope this turns out okay. There were a lot more time staring at the screen than actually typing, and I feel so bad about it. Then again, we have our days.

Also, I don't know if this is true but gay shipping questions are now banned on SPN conventions. I don't know what to feel about this. It's sad that our fellow shippers can be so pushy that people of SPN found it necessary to ban such questions. I know some are excited since our OTP is showing signs of being canon in the future, but hey, it's not what SPN is about. It's still about two brothers who will do anything for each other and who will try to end evil in the world...something like that. Anyway, on with the story!

**Disclaimer:** Never, ever, mine!

* * *

_**Puzzles**_

**Chapter 4: Forever Incomplete**

* * *

Things were finally looking up for them, Sam decided. It has been a full three months since their father's funeral, and whilst Dean was still in his emotionally constipated state, he finally stopped going to the bar for drunken brawls and wasted nights. Well of course, Sam thought reasonably, how could he? The only remaining nights that Dean could actually spend the evening in a bar was replaced by them going to the Novak's for his tutoring lessons. He was surprised to find that Dean preferred to stay with the older Novak instead of just coming back for him after the sessions. Although they weren't still talking much like before, Sam was just happy to see that maybe, his older brother is finally moving on. Some people may think it was weird for Dean to be like this, and other people who had nothing good to do with their lives might even suggest incest, but Sam understood. Their father, John, had always been Dean's role model. From his taste in music to the Impala, everything was about Dean following his father's footsteps. So when John died, it wasn't just a father Dean was losing. He lost a direction in life. And no, it's not the fucking footprints in the sand story because in this one… the footprints were gone.

"Hey Sammy-boy, head too tall you finally reached the clouds?" Gabriel shook him from his daze. Although Sam was thankful for that, since he noticed he hasn't even touched his lunch yet, he still gave the short boy a glare.

"Not illegal, isn't it?" Sam snapped.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "Lookey here, someone's having their day of the month."

Sam closed his eyes and then shook his head. "Sorry, Gabe. I was just thinking…"

"What? Finally figured out that 42 isn't the answer to life when it's really 69?" Gabriel moved his eyebrows up and down repeatedly to emphasize his point. Sam blushed.

"Cut that out, I'm trying to eat here." Sam complained, pointing the fork at his salad.

Gabriel frowned at the leafy green dish. "That's okay. I'd rather want that abomination out than in."

"Abomination? This is healthy! Unlike those chocolate bars you keep stuffing your mouth with. I'm surprised you aren't still diabetic."

Gabriel faked a gasp. "My babies will never put me to harm, no siree."

Sam snorted but decided not to comment.

Lunch was always like this. The two of them sits on a table opposite each other; Sam eating his salad and Gabriel munching on his sugar-infused snacks. Some of the school jocks taunted them for being in a gay relationship but didn't have the nerve to actually do something about it since Sam's strength was known throughout the school. And that it wasn't true anyway. Sam was working on getting a date with his lab partner Jess, a petite blonde with a pretty face. And Gabe… Well, Sam really didn't know if the guy even likes somebody.

"Hey, Sammy, you're doing it again." Gabriel snapped his fingers in front of him, a smirk plastered on his face. Sam gave an irritable sigh and resumed eating his salad.

Gabriel perched his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his palm. His other hand was busy feeding himself a Snickers chocolate bar—his third one for the day. "Doesn't have the balls to ask Jess yet?"

Sam spluttered, blushing madly. He wildly looked around for any sign of the aforementioned blonde. After realizing that the coast was clear, he turned to glare at Gabriel.

"No. I'm busy. If you haven't noticed, our preliminary exams are coming around."

"Yeah, keep telling that to yourself. She's not exactly just some pretty girl, ya know. Jocks _fawn_ over her, and that means you need to go through the whole male-full-of-raging-hormones population." Gabriel warned.

Sam shrugged. "Well, it's true. And besides, I don't think she's interested on anybody right now."

"And you know that, why?" Gabriel asked.

"Uhh… because…" Sam hesitated for a moment. Gabriel gave him a stern look and egged him on. "She told me." He finished embarrassedly.

It took a minute for Gabriel to comprehend what Sam said. And what it _meant_. He groaned, facepalming himself. "No, no, no." He shook his head, as if on denial.

"You're in the friendzone!"

"The what?"

"Friendzone… where girls put guys they only want to be chummy buddies with, and not hold their hands. Or of course, vice versa. Or male and male, female an—"

"Wait, you mean… I'm currently in a position that Jess only sees me as a friend?" Sam cut him off, panic etched on his face.

Gabriel gave a dramatic sigh. "Yeah, Sammy-boy. I think you are."

The taller man shot him a dirty look. "You think?"

"Yeah, well, I'm not exactly a blonde in a cheerleader uniform, aren't I?" Gabriel rolled his eyes, alluding to Jess.

"How can you even say I'm in this…friendzone?"

"Well, for starters, you're not doing anything to prove otherwise, and she actually told you she's not interested on anybody. Girls only tell that to fellow girls, and well, yeah, I think I see Jess' reason." Gabriel smirked at Sam's riled-up face.

"Yeah, thanks a lot." Sam huffed, abruptly standing, picking up his tray; he carelessly swung his backpack on his shoulder. Gabriel followed suit and wondered what he said wrong. It wasn't like the giant wasn't used to his teasing.

"Hey, really?" He called after Sam who was rapidly walking away from him. Some of the students in the cafeteria turned their heads towards him in confusion but he ignored them, willing himself to walk faster.

Before he could get out of the canteen however, someone bumped into him.

"Jumbo Size Winchester left your gay ass for good?" A buff senior student named Eric sneered. Gabriel merely frowned and pushed his way out of the place, ignoring the jeering laughs that chased him.

When he reached outside the cafeteria and into the hallway with no Sam in sight, he stopped and shook his head. Slowly, a small, sad smile formed on his face.

* * *

When Sam walked in through the door, Dean knew his brother had a good day. How? First, there was an idiotic smile superglue-d on his face. Then, Sam let out a sigh that Dean swore only girls could make that kind of sigh. And to finish it off, Sam had a glazed look that made him cringe. So yeah, the Sam that walked through the door wasn't his brother, or at least not a brother he acknowledges at the moment, especially when said brother practically seemed to be glowing.

"Okay, Sam. I'll bite. What's up with the rainbows on your head?"

Sam gave him an innocent look, and then was lost in his own world again.

Normally, Dean would try to bombard his younger brother with questions until he "fessed" up. But the guy was busy being Alice, stuck in his own wonderland, that Dean knew it would only turn out futile. Well, Sam was the one fond of chick-flick talks so he figured out that Sam would tell him sooner or later anyway.

The phone rang.

Without the usual bicker about who would pick it up, Dean languidly moved towards the phone and answered it.

"Hello?"

"_Dean?" _A young voice greeted.

Dean frowned, trying to recall the voice. "Yeah, squirt, who's asking?"

"_It's me! Ben!"_

Dean was dumbfounded for a moment.

"_Dean?"_

"Hey Ben! Not that I don't want to talk to you, buddy, but how did you get my number?"

"_Mom gave me your number." _The little boy answered with an excited voice.

"Right… so what do you want, champ?" Dean eyes narrowed. He hoped Lisa wasn't using Ben for them to see each other.

"_Mom's going to auntie's tonight! She said auntie is sick. She told me I could go stay with you while waiting for her to go home. But I have to ask for your permission first, she said."_

"But Ben, I have something to do tonight… I don't think—" It was Friday today.

"—_please Deaaaan. I don't want to be all alone.. and I don't like the babysitter!" _Ben whined in a small voice that made Dean sigh. He couldn't really refuse the little guy. And maybe Castiel wouldn't mind if he brought Ben with him, right?

"Fine. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"You do remember I have to go to Gabe's today?" Sam piped in as Dean put down the phone.

"Of course, Samantha. I'm planning to bring Ben with me." Sam gave him a weird look.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just… weird. Do you think Castiel's okay with that?"

"I dunno man… It's not like Ben's gonna eat his puzzle or something." Dean replied, though he was clearly thinking about his younger brother's question. Castiel didn't really strike him as someone who would be fond of children, to be honest.

Sam shrugged. "Maybe."

"Yeah, well go order pizza while I fetch, Ben." Dean pulled out a few bills from his wallet and handed them to Sam. "No pineapples… and with meat in it, all right? We're humans, Sammy, not rabbits."

Sam rolled his eyes but took the money anyway.

"What am I going to do with the change?"

"I dunno, just add it to your allowance. You have a date right? That's why you were acting like some lovesick teenager awhile ago?"

Sam spluttered. "I…How?"

All Dean gave him was a wink before proceeding out of the house and into his beloved Impala.

Truth be told, Sam did have a date. After walking away from Gabriel during lunch, he immediately went to his next class where he and Jessica were lab partners. Driven by his friend's taunts, at the end of the period, he asked her if she wanted to go out sometime. Sam was fully expecting her to say no. So when she said yes, Jess had to repeat if two more times before Sam realized he wasn't dreaming_._

* * *

When Dean reached the Breaden's house, Lisa and Ben were already outside waiting for him. Another car was parked in front of the house which Dean assumed that it belonged to Lisa's sister's husband. Ben immediately went to him as he got out of the car. Dean chuckled, ruffling the boy's hair. Lisa walked towards them, a shawl draped on her shoulders. It was a cold night.

"Hey." She said, smiling lightly.

Dean smiled back. "Hey."

"Mind if I talk to him for a bit? He wouldn't shut up about you awhile ago."

Dean gave a small laugh. "Sure."

Lisa brought herself on Ben's eye level and held him gently by the shoulders.

"I want you to behave, okay, sweetie? Don't trouble your uncle Dean too much." She kissed the boy's forehead. Dean smiled. This was one of the many things why he used to love Lisa. She was a caring lover, and it shone through with Ben. His father liked Lisa, and he wanted for Dean to give Lisa a chance when she cheated on him. But Dean never entertained this—well, not until now, he thought as he stared at the scene in front of him. Maybe he could give it a try. God knows he did a lot of mistakes too when they were together, the only difference was that he didn't cheat. And he couldn't really ignore the fact that Lisa was trying her hardest to get him to forgive her.

"Yes, momma." Ben saluted then turned to Dean once more. He excitedly tugged his hand.

"Come on, Dean! Let's go!"

"Easy tiger." He put the little boy still. He turned to Lisa. "Well, just text me what time you'll be back. I'll take care of Ben."

Lisa merely nodded and stared at him. Dean stared back. This was it, he thought. Lisa slowly leaned in, going for a kiss and Dean decided to do the same. His eyes traced Lisa's red full lips and suddenly, something shifted in him. He stopped abruptly, awkwardly clearing his throat as he stepped back. Lisa flashed a look of disappointment.

"Come on, Ben." He turned his back on her and seated Ben on the passenger seat. He jogged to the other side of the car, pulled open the car door, but before he went in, he waited for Lisa to get into the other car. Sliding into the driver's seat, he turned to Ben who was playing with the seat belt and simply stared at the boy, lost in his thoughts.

He turned away when he heard the click of Ben's seatbelt.

Starting the engine, he wondered why he couldn't do it.

* * *

Dean felt nervous as Castiel looked at Ben with blank eyes. Slowly, his eyes turned away from the little boy and moved to Dean. He was sitting opposite to Castiel today, with Ben seated beside him.

"Hello, Dean." He greeted in his usual baritone voice.

"Hi, Cas. This is… Ben. Ben, Cas." Dean introduced them to each other. Ben smiled widely at Castiel, but it quickly disappeared when the older man gazed at him steadily.

"Hello, Ben." Castiel said, his gaze not wavering. Dean noticed that Cas was scaring Ben when the little boy suddenly clutched his hand in fear.

"Hey, stop that." Castiel turned to him in confusion.

"Stop staring at him like it's the first time you've seen a child. You're scaring the kid, Cas." Dean scratched the back of his head, smiling sheepishly.

"My apologies. It was not my intention to scare the child. It's just that…" Cas looked at Ben again.

"Yeah?" Dean inquired, motioning for him to continue,

Castiel shook his head. "Never mind, it's not of import."

Dean shrugged, took a puzzle piece and held it before Ben. Castiel watched him from his peripheral vision.

"Ok, this is what you'll have to do. You see this? You get one of this and then try to put it on the puzzle frame there." He pointed at the frame on the coffee table. "Easy enough, right?" Ben nodded excitedly. He reached for the puzzle piece Dean was holding but Dean raised his hand higher.

He laughed at the boy's pout. "I'm not finished yet. The puzzle piece needs to match the edges in the frame, okay? And don't move the pieces already in the frame. That means they're already placed on their correct positions. Got it?" Ben once again nodded. He reached for the puzzle piece once more and this time, Dean gave it up without a fight.

The little boy excitedly went beside the coffee table but realized he couldn't even reach it.

"Dean… I can't! Too high!" He protested loudly. Castiel winced but Dean didn't notice.

Dean scooped Ben and placed him on his lap. "Right, I forgot you aren't that tall yet. Why don't you just help me then?" Ben pouted sadly but nodded.

For a few minutes, everything was okay, though Dean noticed Castiel didn't seem to be in a conversable mood. Or that he wasn't just talking to him. And this bothered him in way Dean didn't understand. Sure, he didn't want to go back to their previous relationship when they were just ignoring each other, but he shouldn't be this bothered.

His worries were temporarily dissolved when Castiel spoke.

"You have an… acceptable son." He offered awkwardly, as if he really didn't know how to describe Ben but was doing it out of courtesy. Dean thought back to what he said that the older man looked at Ben like he was the first child Cas' ever seen.

Dean stared at him for awhile before he realized he had to correct him. "H-he's not my son. Uh… he's a co-worker's. I'm just watching him for her."

"Oh… I see." Castiel frowned.

"Yeah…" Dean trailed off, not really knowing what to say.

They fell into another awkward silence that made Ben restless. He was bored with only getting puzzle pieces for Dean. He wanted to put them on the frame too. He tugged Dean's shirt lightly.

"Yeah, tiger?"

"Bored, Dean." Ben whined, kicking his feet.

"Hey, hey, calm down. We don't have anything else to play with, champ. We gotta wait for uncle Sammy."

"But I'm bored, Deaaan." Ben repeated a little loudly. Dean looked carefully at Castiel, silently asking if he had anything the child could play with. Castiel shook his head.

"Dean, dean, dean!" Castiel twitched in his seat, stiffly reaching for another puzzle piece.

"You promised your mother you would behave, Ben." Dean said, a little too sternly for Ben's liking. The little boy's eyes started to water. Dean groaned.

"No, no, Ben, don't cry. Come on, man."

"Dean mad." Ben sniffed.

"No, no. I'm really not." Dean soothed, but Ben only cried harder. He started kicking his feet once more.

"No! Dean mad! No!" He started crying violently. He flailed his hands trying to get out of Dean's grip and in the process the puzzle that he was clutching in his small hand flew into the fire.

Time between Castiel and Dean stopped for a few seconds. Dean noticed Castiel's eyes were wide with panic.

When time seemed to be running again, Castiel rushed to the fire place, frantically looking for the puzzle piece with the tongs. There were hurried footsteps from the stairs and after a few seconds, Sam and Gabriel were with them. Ben was still crying violently and tried his best to soothe him.

"I…Dean, what happened?" Sam asked, concern all over his face.

"Ben's having one of his tantrums… I…" He looked over to Castiel who was crouched in front of the fireplace. He froze, remembering the puzzle piece that was thrown into it. He left Ben with Sam and knelt beside Castiel. Gabriel eyes turned to Sam in confusion but Sam merely shrugged. He didn't know what was happening too.

"Hey, Cas…" The man didn't answer and continued to stare at the fire, his breathing ragged. After a minute, Dean tried again.

"Hey, Cas, it's not safe to stay there…" He coaxed, placing a hand on the man's shoulder. This time, Castiel turned to him and Dean felt like his breath was knocked off from his lungs. The man looked like he was about to cry. His eyes were red, and Dean didn't know if it was due to its exposure to the fire or something else. It was so heartbreaking to look at and all Dean wanted to do was make Cas feel better. To turn those sad eyes into smiling ones, to turn his quivering pink chapped lips into a smile. Pink lips, so unlike Lisa's full red ones. And then those lips moved, and Dean wouldn't know what came out from them if he weren't so focused on them in the first place. No sound came out but Dean understood.

_Please leave._

Something inside him clenched. "I…Cas..."

"Please leave." Castiel said again, finally finding his voice.

Dean turned to Gabriel and Sam in confusion, silently asking for help but the younger Novak merely shook his head, finally realizing what happened.

"Come on, Dean." Sam beckoned, who was finally able to calm Ben down. The child was now sleeping peacefully on Sam's shoulder. Dean nodded slowly and moved away from Castiel. He numbly followed Sam out of the house, all the time asking himself why felt the sudden urge to kiss Castiel when he saw his despaired face.

**To be Continued**

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**Please tell me what you think! **


	5. Two Boys and One Cap

**AN: **Hello dears! Another chapter, inside chapter more like it. You will notice that this chapter will seem different than the others...for starters, it has very few dialogues, and this will be my first time putting warning on a story. I thank you guys for your patience! Oh, I'm sorry for the lack of Dean in this chapter. =) I hope I did this well.

**Warnings: **One-sided incest, character death.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own SPN. Nor do I wish to...I'd just ruin the show.

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**_Puzzles_**

**Chapter 4.5: Two Boys and One Cap**

* * *

It started with a cap. Well, not really. They were twins so it should've started in the delivery where their mother gave her best to have them out of her, but really, who could even remember that? He didn't have a superb memory, so for Jimmy, it started with a cap.

It was a cold January evening and they were walking on the pavement, the four of them. His mother, his father, his twin Castiel and him, Jimmy. His older brothers Luke and Michael were left at home, and when Castiel asked why, their mother said it wasn't good for siblings to fight, especially not inside a house of God. He remembered Castiel nodding eagerly and their mother smiling at him, pleased. Perhaps he should have noticed back then, and yet he was just four. It was only normal that he couldn't distinguish it yet.

They were on their way to the church, and along the way they passed by stalls selling a variety of things that fascinated both Jimmy and Castiel. Here was where it started: with that cap displayed on the fifth stall they passed by. He remembered Castiel stopping, pulling their mother with him. He should've been able to notice it here too. They always held Castiel's hand, their mom and dad. He could never recall a time when they didn't. And he funnily enough, couldn't also recall a time when they held his. But he was a child, and he remained ignorant.

Castiel had wanted to buy the cap. He kept pointing at it eagerly, his eyes crinkling in excitement. He joined in, because he also wanted the cap; he was also excited for it. He was so happy when their father took out his wallet—he kept jumping up and down. His mother took the cap as the vendor offered it to her, and carefully tucked it on top of Castiel's head after adjusting it for it to fit a child's head. He was at awe back then. The cap seemed like a treasure to them, and Castiel beamed at him, proud of his new cap. His mouth started to hurt from smiling too much, but he didn't care, because he knew his father would be buying a cap for him next. Any minute now, he told himself. But then his mother started tugging on Castiel's hand, pulling him with her. His father had his back already on the stall and they started walking again towards the church. His smile faded and Castiel could only look at him with confusion. _Why didn't their father buy him a cap like Castiel?_ Tears welled up in his eyes. He also wanted a cap. It was unfair! He refused to move from his spot, and kept looking back at the cap on the stall. His parents didn't seem to notice—or they didn't care—but Castiel kept his eyes on him, his eyebrows in a furrow.

Suddenly, Castiel was tugging his wrist free from their mother, and once he was able to do so, he ran back to his twin. He took of the cap from his head and tiptoed to place it on top Jimmy's. He smiled toothily at him. Jimmy found it so beautiful that there were no more tears threatening to come out from his eyes anymore. Their parents finally caught up with them, grabbing Castiel's hand once more. Their father looked at Jimmy sternly, and their mother had a disapproving glare. But he didn't care, because he had his twin's cap on his head and his twin's hand intertwined with his as they started walking back to the church once more.

Jimmy started to notice that their parents didn't like him when he and Castiel were 6. Whenever he asked for something, no matter how much crying he did, they never gave it. Luke and Michael didn't seem to be having the same problem, and Castiel was practically lavished with gifts. He didn't know what he was doing wrong. Everything Castiel did, he did. But at the end of the day, it was still him in the receiving end of their mother's glare. Still he tried. He tried to be more devout and prayed every time to Jesus Christ. He studied hard and aced his quizzes, but in the end he was still the only person not allowed to see baby Gabriel.

He remembered fidgeting as their father compared their report cards. His in his father's left hand and Castiel's on his father's right. Their father looked at him sharply and then thrust the card back to him, not even sparing him a second glance. Then he turned to Castiel who was looking nervous but he had no reason to. Because when their father's eyes fell on him, immediately a smile broke through him and he reached for Castiel and picked him up. Their father lovingly ruffled Castiel's hair and told him job well done. Then and there, Jimmy wanted to hate his brother. Jealousy burning inside him. He really tried, because both of them got straight A's but their father ignored him, like he did last time. But he couldn't. He really couldn't. Not when Castiel climbed into his bed that night and held his hand as they both fell asleep.

When they were 9, Castiel developed a fixation with puzzles and their parents were delighted. They bought him different puzzles, almost every week—all using religious pictures. Both of them used to work on the puzzles every single day, and Jimmy was happy for awhile. But of course their parents had to destroy that. When they found out that Castiel was sharing his puzzles with Jimmy, they immediately forbade him to do so. And when Castiel tried to complain, their mother stooped down, held him by the shoulders and told him in a soft voice that Jimmy was a bad boy and that he didn't deserve Castiel's generosity—all of this happening with Jimmy just in front of them. He remembered running away and going down to the basement. Dinner passed and nobody called for him to eat. His stomach was churning and when he did go up, the lights were already off—everyone was already asleep. When he reached his and Castiel's bedroom, his twin was already fast asleep. However, there was a glass of milk and a plate of cookies on his bed and a John the Baptist puzzle beside it.

Jimmy moved out of their bedroom when they were 12. It was also in that year that he started to rebel. He finally realized that he could never please their parents, no matter what he did. He was given the dingy attic to sleep in and they left him to clean it by himself. On the first night, Castiel brought his puzzles and slept with him. He was the only family member who still hang out with Jimmy. Michael and Luke never seemed to care about anything but their arguments. His parents took preventive measures so that Gabriel wouldn't talk to him and little Anna was just three months old—and he hasn't even seen her yet. On the second, night they weren't so lucky. Before Castiel could even climb up to the attic, their mother already steered him back to his now solely-owned bedroom. Jimmy has never felt so alone that night.

In high school, they had a different set of friends. For Jimmy, that is. Castiel had no friends. No one wanted to befriend the prudish boy who had a stick up his ass. Nevertheless, Jimmy looked out for him. He was friends with the bullies and stoners of the school and that was enough for them to leave his brother alone. Sometimes though, they wondered how Jimmy and Castiel could even be related. Castiel was the one who spoke in bible verses, had studying for a pastime hobby and teachers for friends while Jimmy was the one who did and push drugs, go into parties and fuck his way through the female student body.

One day however, Castiel came to him after class. The jocks sniggered as the nerd of the Lord came towards them. Jimmy told them to shut up as he met his twin halfway.

"Hello, brother." Castiel greeted.

Jimmy smiled at him. "What are you doing here, Castiel?" He knew his brother understood his question. It wasn't that Jimmy didn't like his company, in fact, he was addicted to it, but Castiel didn't belong here. Didn't belong behind the bleachers where Jimmy and his friends were secretly blowing a joint.

Castiel seemed to be at a lost for a moment. "I need you."

Jimmy arched a brow. "…for what?"

"I need another member for the Puzzles club. The guidance counselor told me that there should be a minimum of two members before a club could be formed."

When Jimmy went back behind the bleachers, he didn't know he was smiling so hard if not for his friends pointing it out.

Things went downhill when they were 19. Castiel has moved to college two years ago and only comes home during holidays. Even with the separation from their parents, he was still the obedient son. Michael and Luke both have finished college already but chose to stay with their parents to take care of the family business. Gabriel was starting to make a ruckus, following his own rules and yet his parents rarely scolded him unlike Jimmy who was told off every day. They told him how despicable he was, mixing with the wrong crowds, sinning in the eyes of God, that he was an abomination…but Jimmy didn't mind them. The only reason he was still coming home to them was because he anticipated Castiel going home every holiday—and that they talk through the internet once a week.

This was also the time he realized he was in love with his twin brother.

At first Jimmy thought it was because he had missed his brother now that he was living miles away. But surely his sudden urges to kiss or hug his brother whenever Castiel was in close proximity didn't cover that, did it? And it wasn't like anyone could tell him otherwise. It wasn't something people talk about. It wasn't something you open up to anyone and hope you won't be judged. He remembered getting angry, because how could Castiel do this to him? His brother took everything away from him, his parents, his siblings, his life…and now the only thing he thought he has left, all this time Castiel had it? He was supposed to hate his twin, because if it weren't for him, maybe he wouldn't be just an afterthought. Like his parents didn't really have a choice that his mother was carrying twins when all they wanted was a single child at that moment. Even his name was an afterthought. Who the fuck names their child Jimmy after they name the other Castiel anyways? Castiel's name was special… named after the angel of the day they were born. And he was just Jimmy. Jimmy the black sheep. Jimmy the bad son. And yes, they were probably right. He still hung out with the stoners he had for friends back in high school. All he did to keep the ache for his brother away was to indulge himself in illegal drugs that made him numb. That made him forget, even if just for a moment, of his shitty life.

Christmas was fast approaching and Castiel would be coming home tomorrow, but of course they were still going to talk to each other through the computer tonight. Time should go faster, Jimmy thought excitedly as he browsed the shelves for a gift for his brother. Something caught his eye in furthest part of the shelf. Jogging towards it, a smile broke through his face. It was an 8000-piece Sistine Chapel puzzle. The perfect gift, he thought. He pulled the box out of the shelf and looked at the price. He bit his lip. His money wasn't enough, that's for sure. And this was a mall, and not just some small antique store he could persuade. He thought of letting it go and moving on to find a cheaper gift. But this is the perfect gift, he repeated to himself. He had to find a way. Asking money from his parents wasn't an option. And he couldn't ask from Luke or Michael either without their parents knowing. He gulped, one desperate option materializing in his mind.

Turning his head left and right, he checked if there were people looking at him. Slowly, he took the box and tucked it under his elbow. He walked casually towards the cash register, a staff smiling at him along the way. He took a stop when he reached the intersection between the payment line and the exit. He glanced around him nervously, his hand coiling around the box tightly.

"Sir?" A female staff called out to him, probably noticing he was standing too long in the same place.

He didn't look at her. Instead, he focused his gaze on the security guard by the exit that was busy talking to a customer. He made a stance.

"Sir!" The staff called again. She had probably already guessed what he was about to do. Before she could alert the guard though, Jimmy sprinted through the exit. The security guard wasn't as distracted as he thought since he heard a shot coming from behind him. He looked back to see the security guard was running after him. He tried to accelerate his speed as another shot past through him. He wasn't as lucky with the third shot as it came spiraling through him, the bullet lodging itself somewhere in his stomach. The adrenaline numbed the pain though as he continued to run home, never turning back once.

Once he reached the street where their house was situated, he allowed himself to look back. No one was after him anymore. He felt a wet sensation on the right part of his stomach but he didn't dare take a look. He collected himself and ran again until he reached the house. It took one look for Jimmy to realize no one was home. They probably went outside for dinner without him, not that he wasn't used to it. He let himself inside through the back door and tiredly trudged through the stairs, the adrenaline already dying.

He was breathing so hard by the time he reached his room—the attic. He turned on the light with shaking hands and pulled himself towards his cabinet. He pulled open the doors and stuffed the box at the very back. He closed them immediately, as if afraid anyone was looking and would take it, and dragged himself to the bed where his laptop was perched. He closed his eyes, smiling tiredly. He was going to see Castiel tomorrow. Castiel who would be so happy with his gift.

Just one more thing, he told himself before he would clean his wound. His body started to hurt but willed himself to stay still as the computer buzzes into life. He sat on the floor as he rested his body on the edge of the bed. Typing his username and password proved to be very trying with shaky hands. A window instantly popped into the screen. It was Castiel.

"Hello, Jimmy." He said in his low, baritone voice.

Jimmy winced for a moment as he clamped a hand around his wound, trying to stop the flow of blood that made its way on the wooden surface of the floor. "Hi, Castiel."

Castiel tipped his face to the right and studied him. "Are you okay, Jimmy? You look pale."

Jimmy forced a smile. "I—I'm fine, Cas. Just deliriously excited for tomorrow since you're coming home."

Castiel smiled back. "I am, too. I missed you all." Jimmy didn't reply as he merely stared at the screen. At the face of his brother, his twin, his beloved. It was as if he was memorizing his features, like he would never see him again.

"Jimmy? Are you still there? I think the video froze." He heard Castiel's voice. His focus started dwindling and darkness threatened to overcome him.

"I-I love you." Jimmy blurted, wondering why his heart beat wasn't fast just as he had imagined before when he finally told his feelings to his brother. In fact, it was slowing down.

Castiel smiled again. "That's unexpected...but I love you too, brother." And Jimmy laughed, or wheezed was more like it. Of course…it was stupid to for him to even think that Castiel harbored the same feelings. He could feel his chest constricting and he heaved another deep breath.

"L-listen, I have to go." He was glad he still had the strength to talk.

Castiel seemed confused since he was suddenly leaving but nodded anyway. All Jimmy could see was a blur moving up and down.

"Ah… very well, brother. I will see you tomorrow." Still with shaking hands, he closed the window. He rested his head against the edge of the bed and gaze at the blank wall opposite him. Castiel wasn't in love with him. He only loved him as a brother. Or maybe he hadn't realized it yet, he hoped. He would be seeing Castiel tomorrow. And he was terrified. He tried to steady his breathing, his free palm pressing against the floor under the bed. His felt something under his fingers. Dragging the hand from under his bed forward, his fingers closing on the item, he was surprised to see the cap. He chuckled, but immediately grimaced after as the pain surged through his body. With his remaining strength, he raised the cap before his eyes, holding it tightly as it shook in front of him and then slowly, he put it on the top of his head. He suddenly felt the need to see his brother's toothy smile again.

And when the darkness once more threatened him, Jimmy finally let it.

Castiel came home to a funeral.

**End of Inside Chapter**

* * *

**AN:** We'll be back to the original timeline after this chapter! So now we know a little bit of Castiel's past! Please tell me what you think? I will really appreciate it.


	6. A Little Piece of Dean

**AN: **Hello! I'm back. Well, I did mention in _**Marionette** _that I was gonna finish this today. Anyway, my beloved, have you watched the season finale? I think I just died...then just got resurrected again because Chuck wanted me to at least finish this story. Although the Destiel moment was swift, it was heavy. The gay couple had to mean something, right?

I particularly enjoyed writing this up. Hope you appreciate it, guys. :) Back to the story!

**Disclaimer: I do not own SPN. **

* * *

_**Puzzles**_

**Chapter 5: A Piece of Dean**

* * *

Dean was confused.

Yes, he admitted, maybe it was frustrating to know that the puzzle wouldn't—couldn't be complete anymore with a single piece missing…or in the fireplace if you want to be specific, but it wasn't frustration that was portrayed on Castiel's eyes, and that was what bothered Dean. It was…_sadness_. A heavy sadness that made his heart clench uncomfortably. It was a face that will haunt him—he was sure of that. A sad Castiel. He was so used on seeing only blankness on the man's face that it was unnerving to witness raw emotion from it. There were only two explanations swirling on his mind: either Castiel was freakishly obsessed with puzzles, which was disturbing on its own right,—or that the puzzle had a sentimental value for him. And thinking that the latter was probably the actual reason made Dean feel queasy.

He put the car to a stop and turned to Sam who still had Ben sleeping on his shoulder. He took the child from Sam and told his younger brother to just wait for him inside—he wasn't going to take long anyway. Ben stirred, threatening to wake up but went back to sleep as Dean tucked him comfortably on his shoulders.

He rang the doorbell.

The door swung open, Dean momentarily blinded as the flood of light leaked out from the house. When his vision cleared, Lisa was already staring at him with a frown.

"What happened?" She asked, taking her son from Dean carefully.

_That's what I'd like to know. _"Uh, he got restless, I guess. Threw a tantrum." At the frown still evident on her face, he quickly added, "No biggie."

Lisa simply nodded. Dean didn't give her a chance to make another query and just waved a goodnight and walked back to the car.

"What happened?" Was Sam's greeting when he sat down on the driver's seat.

Dean stared ahead for awhile before deciding to turn to Sam and answer. "Told Lisa that Ben just go restless and—"

"You know that's not what I'm asking, Dean."

"If that's not what you're asking…" Dean went back to staring ahead. "…then I don't know it."

"Oh for the love of God…" Sam rolled his eyes. "Fine!" He yelled, his nostrils flaring in anger. "What fucking happened back there _between you and Castiel_?"

"Okay." Dean inhaled sharply. "Okay." He repeated. "One of the puzzle pieces got thrown into the fireplace." He looked at Sam and wasn't alt all surprised to see that his hazel eyes were wide with shock.

"What?" Sam croaked, his tone disbelieving. "Of all the things that could happen you—"

Dean sighed heavily, looking out of the window to think deeply, "I know—", and then whipped his head to the direction of his brother. "…wait _what?_"

"The puzzle, Dean! Why couldn't it be the couch pillows, Gabe said Castiel didn't like them anyway…something about being too yellow, or the wall clock, or the fucking door—why the hell did you have to throw the puzzle piece?" Sam explained frantically, some of his thoughts going astray.

Dean could feel his mind swirling. _Castiel didn't like the couch pillow because it was too yellow? What was Sam's point? What about the puzzle? _

Sam studied Dean's baffled expression and suddenly it clicked. "You don't know, do you?"

"Know what?" Dean asked in a small voice.

Sam took a deep breath before saying, "The puzzle was the last gift Castiel received from his _dead twin_."

Dean felt his mouth open in shock. "Wh—what? How do you even know this?"

"Gabe." Sam answered simply. "Listen, Dean, that puzzle is very, _very_ important to Castiel—Gabe stressed that much to me when he found out you suddenly joined the Puzzles club. What happened, Dean? You knocked it off or something?"

"I-it wasn't me." Dean found himself saying. He was still trying to process the information. Like his mind was a youtube video taking a long time to buffer. "It was Ben."

Sam's mouth formed into a small "o." Then, he regained his composure, bared his teeth for a second and then stared ahead. "I don't wanna say this but I—"

"Don't." Dean cut in, his voice threatening. "..even try."

* * *

Dean found himself in an old antique shop at some back of an alley.

It wasn't how he ended up there that got his face into a frown, No. It was because he feared for his baby's safety. The alley didn't look the least friendly. He glanced outside the display window to check if his baby was still there. A breath of relief came out as the Impala remained parked on the side of the street.

His gaze moved back to the cramped room. It was a big place but it was so messy and so full of things that it looked small. There were things everywhere, mostly books; some weren't even placed on shelves, just stacked carelessly on the floor. He absently wondered how the clerk in Wal-Mart even knew about this place.

"Yes? What do you want?" An aging man snapped him from his worries and back into reality. The man had a graying curly hair, a beard and an unshaven jaw which exceeded the acceptable stubble. The first thing that came to Dean's mind was that the man needed a shave. Oddly enough, the man complemented the shop well.

Dean cleared his throat to hide his surprise. "Uhm—I…the clerk in Wal-Mart said you have some… puzzles. Jigsaw puzzles."

The old man gave him an "are you stupid" look. "Well? What puzzle? This is an antique shop, boy, not a toy store. You have to be more specific." He disappeared into shelf on the front row.

Dean racked his mind for the name of the puzzle. He walked towards the front row peered between shelves but the man was not there anymore. "Huh?"

"You still there?" He heard a voice from his right.

Dean frowned, steering himself towards the voice. "Yeah, uh, it's uhm…an 8000-piece puzzle, I think." He stared dumbly at another empty space in between shelves.

"You think?" The same voice called out, coming from his left this time. His eyes darkened, a scowl forming on his face. He swore to God that if the man was playing tricks with him and wasting his time he would tear the place apart—not that it would do much to dampen the place anyway.

"N-no. I'm pretty sure." He forced out, trying to keep his anger in line. Then an image of a church flashed on his mind. A brief, brief image but he recognized it anyway. "The Sistine Chapel." He murmured quietly, too warped in his own thoughts again that the man took him off guard when he shoved a box in his direction.

"The Sistine Chapel." The older man echoed.

"Yeah…" Dean mumbled as he stared at the box in his hands. His eyes narrowed as he read the caption. "Hey! This is—You can't possibly _just know_ where to find it so easily in this heap and—"

"The clerk was my son. He texted me what you were looking for even before you came here."

"So you really were just playing—" He was ready keep his promise about tearing the place but a face crossed his mind and it made him falter. "…fine, just…how much?"

"How much is Dan Brown's new book, Inferno?"

Dean thought for a moment. "$18, I guess. Why?"

"Then $18, please." The old man held out his hand.

* * *

Something pleasant settled on his chest when he recognized the familiar shock of black messy hair as he entered the Novak household.

So Castiel didn't bail on him. Good to know.

The man was sitting on his usual place on the couch. The familiarity of his face was welcoming—all serious and concentrated on the puzzle piece on his hand. It was like nothing happened just days before.

Except that something did happen.

Dean walked towards him, keeping a straight face as his heart beat doubled. He stiffly held the box behind him, obscuring it from Castiel's view. Sam was shaking his head at him good-naturedly and Gabriel was wearing a knowing grin that he didn't understand what for and was even too disturbing to look at.

He sat on his usual position, beside Castiel.

"Cas." He decided to be the one to greet first this time.

The man turned to him, face like a blank canvass. "Hello, Dean." Castiel greeted, his voice gravelly. Dean didn't know why because he had just been with the man last Friday, but damn, he would be lying if he said he didn't miss that voice.

"Cas…listen, about last Friday…" He started, his hands absently clutching the box even tighter. "I'm really sorry…I had _no idea_ that Ben would do what he did."

Castiel merely stared at him, just like he used to all the time, but this it was making the situation more awkward.

"I think this is the part where you have to say something." He forced a small, nervous laugh. That seemed to do the trick.

"I apologize." The tax accountant said sincerely. "But… you don't have to say sorry. It wasn't anyone's fault. I'm sorry if I surprised you with my reaction…it's just that—the puzzle is very…"

"…precious to you." Dean finished for him, mentally kicking himself as Castiel's eyes widened in confusion. "Sam told me." He explained but Castiel still looked at him with those big confused eyes that Dean thought was adorable. "Gabe told him."

"O-oh." Castiel turned back to the puzzle. "So you know already..."

Dean pulled one hand away from the box to scratch his head with a sheepish smile. "Yeah, well not until after the incident. Uhm…" He looked at Cas carefully. "My condolences."

Castiel simply nodded and once more stared at him. "Thank you." He said. "You might not believe me, but I appreciate it very much."

Dean thought that it was odd for Castiel to assume such but decided against questioning it. He had others things at hand. Like the box of a puzzle set that he was holding. He cleared his throat. "Hey, uh… I got you something."

Castiel tilted his head sideways.

Dean swallowed his spit as he slowly presented the box to Castiel, holding it out to him like a little child who refused to meet the man's eyes.

His eyes carefully moved upward and his stomach dropped when Castiel looked sorry.

"Dean… I don't think I would allow you replacing my brother's puzzle—even if it turns out incomplete."

Dean sighed a breath of relief.

"No! No, Cas, buddy, that wasn't my intention." He paused. "I just thought that… a piece is missing right? Well, now at least we can complete it. Even if it wouldn't be a puzzle that is all-brother—well, the majority would be…How do I say this…" He could feel the back of his neck turning red. "...just a little piece from me to make it complete?" And _God_ was he thankful that Sam wasn't here to share the moment because the last line pretty much sounded the giant would snicker at.

But Dean didn't really mind that.

Not when Cas gave him a genuine smile, looking like a child on Christmas day.

And that was enough to make him happy too, though he didn't particularly know why.

* * *

Okay, that's it for this chapter! Hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you think! Were you able to guess who the creepy shopkeeper was? I hope to update soon!


	7. Guns and Burgers

**AN:** Guys! I'm very sorry for the delay. I've been having a hard time finding time to write this down. Classes resumes today and I'm not yet enrolled! The fucking school system is taking it's time. I've been going back and forth for a week now trying to fix my classes and it's physically exhausting. Also I've developed a bad habit...I'm now sleeping during the afternoon till dawn and then awake for the rest of the day. So please be patient with me, I'm really trying my best. Hopefully when school starts, I can be more productive. Thank you for understanding!

Anyway, I know the story has been slow...dun dun dun... nothing noteworthy is happening yet BUT tadaaa! I'm working on it. Sad to say, I feel that I finally lost the scene I wanted to do the most in the story and this one is now very far from the original so I'm thinking of posting the original and you guys can compare the difference. It's like another story altogether.

Your reviews are the reason that drives me to write. I feel so bad for my slow updates, usually my deadline would just be three days... but what the hell happened. D: Anyway, I'm not gonna delay you guys any further! Here we go!

**Disclaimer: **SPN is not mine. And October is such a long time...

* * *

_**Puzzles**_

**Chapter 6: Guns and Burgers**

* * *

The Winchesters were hunters by default.

Their last name was proof enough to clear the doubts about it. Although a rifle may seem unlikely to be used in hunting, it was a family specialty. John's father took hunting as a sport—a family business would be much more exact, except that the state found it difficult to recognize it as one, so they settled for hobby. John took after this fixation with shooting animals, catching game. When he was eighteen, he was able to hunt his first big game animal: a black bear. He had a broken leg but he didn't care, his father had never been so proud of him and that was what mattered. Mary, his girlfriend, wasn't though. In fact, she refused to talk to John for three weeks after his first big catch.

When they got married, he promised to lay off the big game animals and settle for hunting once in a while. Mary compromised, knowing that she could never fully take his husband away from his dangerous sport.

Everything was well until it happened.

Mary was cooking inside their rented forest cabin when suddenly, the door burst open. She didn't turn around, assuming it was John who had probably forgotten some of his gear. Dean's startled cry however had her turning.

What she thought as John was a huge black mountain bear. It had vicious yellow eyes that were oddly focused on the open bedroom door on the right where six-months old Sam was sleeping peacefully on his little hammock.

Mary froze, dropping the soup ladle she was holding in her left hand. The bear turned to her and growled lowly. Dean was also frozen in his spot. He was playing under the table before the bear came in and Mary couldn't have felt more thankful that her son didn't listen to her when she told him not to play under the fixture.

The bear took a step forward.

Tears formed in her eyes. She had to do something before the savage animal noticed 4-year old Dean under the table or shift his attention back to Sam who was starting to wake up.

Her eyes moved from the pot of stew she was cooking to the backdoor steps away from her.

Later that day, John came home to his crying sons… and no Mary in sight. There was a trail of bloody shoeprints followed by a second trail of paw prints from the backdoor that lead to the deeper part of the forest.

Little Dean could only mutter "yellow eyes" for the next six months even with the help of a therapist.

"Yellow eyes." Dean muttered quietly as he stared at himself in the mirror. He could no longer remember the bear—in fact, there was a time when he couldn't even remember anything about the incident, a result from the traumatic experience.

But his father had made him remember.

After Mary's death, John became obsessive. He dived in head first into hunting again. And this time, he focused solely on the big games—specifically the black mountain bears back in the forest. Sam wasn't spared. When the brainiac was old enough, he too was taught how to hunt.

_No one escaped the family business. _

"No!" A shout from behind put him out of his reverie. He didn't need to turn around to know that it was Sam. "You can't. It's supposed to be over!"

Dean didn't know why his brother's voice sounded panicked. Or why he was shouting in the first place. As far as he was concerned, nothing was out of the ordinary. He glanced back to the body mirror and that's when he saw it.

A silenced rifle hung on his left shoulder while a shotgun was on his right. He had his hunting vest worn over a black plain shirt matched with his khaki cargo pants. He stood in shock as he realized what he was wearing. He couldn't even remember putting them on. He even had the _boots _on.

He slowly turned around to face Sam who had a frightened look on his face mirroring his own.

"Dean…"

"I don't… I don't remember putting them on, Sammy." He admitted, using a low voice.

"Dead, Dean. We don't have to continue this anymore. It's dead…so why are you…?" He trailed off. Dean didn't have an answer either. He hasn't been hunting for the past months, not after his father's death. He swore never to hunt again for Sammy and for himself. It was not a hobby after all. It was an activity based on obsession to secure vengeance and protecting others from suffering the same fate even if it meant that they were the ones who will have to suffer. It tore their lives apart, especially Sam's, and after the monster's death he swore on his father's fresh grave and on his mother's too—

"Mom's death anniversary." He whispered. "This is the first time we're…not in that cabin."

So that was why he couldn't remember anything. It was a routine, long engraved on his mind. He had been doing this for more than a decade. It already became a part of him, no matter how much he denied it.

It was the first time for the both of them to have yellow eyes dead during the anniversary.

Sam's eyes widened in understanding, but it was a fraction too wide that Dean had an inkling feeling his younger brother knew all along. He couldn't blame the guy, really. The dude had no recollections of their mother, given that he was half-a-year old when she died. The solemn visits from Dean's point of view were just awkward ones for Sam.

"So, uhm..." Sam drawled, taking in once more Dean's attire. "I'm pretty sure you'd make the people in your office run for their lives if you don't plan to change." He paused for a second, feigning the look of someone deep in thought. "Then again, uncle Bobby wouldn't probably notice."

Dean glared at his brother's cheeky smile but he read more into the statement. Sam had indirectly suggested that they continue their usual routine even though it was their mother's death anniversary.

"I'm not planning to go to work anymore, actually." He pressed, inwardly smug as the smile of his brother faltered.

"Oh..." Sam trailed off. "Well, I guess I'll have to tell Gabe I can't—"

Dean interrupted him. "Nah, I'll drop you off at school and at Cas'."

Sam arched a fine brow. "Huh. So when are you going to the cemetery then?"

"After I drop you off for your tutoring." Dean said simply.

"I don't understand... _why aren't you going to work then?_" And before Dean could even answer, it clicked to Sam. "No." He shook his head frantically. "No, you can't, Dean!" He threw his arms up in exasperation. "What part of trying to live a normal life don't you understand?! _You promised!_"

Dean turned away. "I'm not going to hunt, Sammy." He gritted his teeth, knowing that he was more likely trying to convince himself than Sam. "I just want to visit the place for the last time."

Sam looked at him dubiously. "You expect me to believe that?"

"No."

Sam frowned.

"But you can't do anything either, so get your girly ass in the car—_and don't slam my baby's door!"_

* * *

Sam wasn't sure if Dean stuck to his word. What he was sure of was that his big brother was just on time to take him to Gabe's, the purring engine of the Impala just outside proved that much. He stood up from the couch, and went outside.

His eyes immediately scanned his brother who was just getting out of the black Chevy.

Not a spot of blood on his clothes.

Not a rumple on any surface of the attire.

Not a dirt on his person.

"_You hunted_, didn't you?" Sam accused.

Dean gave him a funny look and just walked past him, only deciding to say something before he entered the house. "Hmmm, you ready?" Sam followed him inside and stared at Dean who was taking off his vest and flinging it at the foot of the stairs.

"Yeah." He said stiffly.

"Good. Let's go." With that, Dean passed by him again and went straight to the Impala.

Sam could only roll his eyes.

-()-

Dean let out a big breath of relief as he stepped into the Novak's house. He felt irked by how Sam was pointedly looking at him throughout the whole drive and it drove him crazy. It wasn't as if he committed a federal crime or some shit. He just didn't want to talk about it, if there was even something to talk about. Not today. He still had to go to the cemetery and talk to his mom.

Although the original plan was to just drop Sam off, something inside him egged him to see Castiel first.

He shook his head and resumed walking, tailing Sam and Gabriel.

Suddenly, a delicious smell invaded his nose as they neared the living room. It was a smell that Dean was very familiar with. He would know that smell even in his sleep. He inhaled deeply, sucking the heavenly smell through his nose.

_Sweet mother of Christ. _He thought. He let the smell lead him, barely noticing Sam and Gabriel turning right for the stairs.

The first change he noticed, in the living room, was the that big puzzle wasn't on the coffee table. In place of it was a platter of the yummiest-looking cheese burgers Dean had ever laid eyes on and a pitcher of orange juice beside it. Once he got his brain functioning again, he turned to the lone man sitting on the couch.

His breath hitched.

It was oddly refreshing to see the usually hunched-over-the-coffee-table man relaxed and leaning on the backrest of the couch. Though even for someone relaxed, he still had his hands perched properly on his lap, his fingers fidgeting. The second thing Dean noticed about Cas was his attire. The man was actually wearing casual clothes: a black shirt over a flannel top and plain denim jeans. A colorful tie with a print that seemed to be a deformed monkey was hanging loosely on his neck. Dean would bet his baby that Gabriel gave the tie.

Once he got over his initial reaction, Dean started to breathe again.

"Wow." He exclaimed, not entirely sure if he said that because of the food before him.

Castiel smiled, and if Dean had looked closely into it, it was actually a smile of relief.

"Wow, Cas...I don't mean to be assuming or anything, but are those babies for me?" He grinned at the older man.

Castiel's pleased face immediately turned to incredulous shock as Dean mentioned the word "babies." His lips turned pale as he struggled to answer the younger man. "T-the store said they were beef...Have I been misinformed? Why would they cater fetuses... I don't understand." He babbled.

"Oh God, no, Cas!" Dean groaned, a disturbing imagery entering his mind. "It was a term of endearment, y'know, coz I love cheeseburgers. Sometimes, I forget you're such a child."

"I'm not a child, Dean." Cas admonished.

"Yeah, well you remind me of one." Dean pointed out.

Castiel still disagreed. "Children are those who call their food "babies"."

"You haven't seen me with the Impala yet, huh." Cas gave him a confused stare. "Anyway, you said _their _food so... those babies _are _for me!"

Castiel nodded, smiling. "Yes, Dean, they are indeed for you. Though I think the mother cow would not like it if you claim her kin as yours."

Dean eyes rolled at Castiel's persistence against his term of endearment. "Whatever, Cas. Mommy dearest's probably dead already." He waved his hand offhandedly. "So... what's the occasion? Is it your birthday something? Buddy, you gotta tell me first before you decide to celebrate it with me." Although he was grinning, Dean found it unsettling to have the man's birthday on the day of death of his mother.

"No, it's not yet my birthday." Dean actually looked relieved. "And why would I need to tell you beforehand if it is my date of birth?" Castiel tilted his head in a familiar manner that the green-eyed man always found endearing.

Dean shrugged. "So I could get you a gift."

"But why would you get me a gift, Dean? We only see each other because your brother is tutoring my brother."

"That's what you do when it's your friend's birthday, I guess." Dean scratched the back of his head, a thoughtful frown on his face.

"Oh." Castiel said in a small voice. "Are we... _friends, _Dean?" He said the word as if it was his first time using it.

"'Course we are, Cas. Right?" They were friends, weren't they? He even helped him with his puzzle and Cas would be a total jerk if he didn't find a friend in him.

"Yes, I guess we are." And Castiel smiled the one special smile that seemed to be reserved only for him. That same smile that never failed to make Dean's heart flutter and his mind wonder why the hell he was reacting this way towards a man.

Dean gulped.

"G-good." He straightened his back, not remembering when he slacked. "We're getting off track here, Cas. What's up? What's with the burgers?" He briefly glanced at the wall clock.

"Ah... these." The said man gave an awkward sweeping glance, indicating the platter on the coffee table.

"Yeah, those."

"It may seem late, but I had wanted to show you my appreciation for finding another puzzle set exactly the same as my brother's gift." He gave a small smile. "I've only had the occasion to do so today." He explained.

Dean found himself smiling back. "Why is that?"

"My boss allowed me to take a day off."

"Aww, Cas, man, you didn't have to do that. It _was_ my fault why you lost the piece." He took a seat beside the man, his usual place, and put a hand on his shoulder.

Castiel shook his head. "No, I didn't need to, but I wanted to Dean. It's not exactly your fault why the child chose to throw a tantrum."

"Not a fan of children huh?" Dean grinned.

Cas gave a wry smile. "I suppose I'm not."

Dean shrugged. He knew other people who weren't fond of children either so it was not a big deal. "_I_ was the one who brought him here." He argued. "I didn't even ask if you would be okay with it."

Castiel scrunched his nose in distaste. "Your angle of reasoning seems oddly misguided. You had no control over it, Dean. It was meant to happen."

Dean had to raise an eyebrow at that but decided not to argue as he happened to glance at the clock once again. He jolted. "Oh shit. It's almost 8!" At Castiel's questioning glance, he continued. "I need to go to the cemetery. They're closing at 10."

Dean braced himself for the questions why he had to go that place at this time of the day but Cas simply inclined his head towards the platter of burgers and orange juice. "Shall I place them in a basket?"

"Uh...sure." Castiel merely nodded and stood up from his seat. He took the plate with one hand and the pitcher on the other and then proceeded to go to, what Dean assumed, the kitchen. He came back after five minutes with a small picnic basket in hand.

Dean seemed to consider something.

"Would you like to go with me, Cas?" He cringed after hearing his own question. Who the hell asks that? They were friends but Dean didn't think they had gotten that far to already share the habit of visiting each deceased relative's grave.

He thought if there could be anything weirder than his invitation to the cemetery.

Castiel smiled. "I'd love to."

Apparently there was.

**To Be Continued**

* * *

**AN: **There we go! I hope this will somehow make it up to you guys for my long absence. I promise not to do it again. It's just that the enrollment process was really driving me crazy. I'm even sick now due to the change of temperature. *sighs* Anyway, tell me what you think about Cas and Dean having their first proper date in a cemetery. By proper, I meant no Sam and Gabe upstairs. I WILL update soon! Have to update _**Marionette** _first.

**PS: **If I'm not able to fulfill my promise, please be aware that I have stumbled upon the fic **_Twist and Shout _**and that from what I've heard, it's really, really, really, really heartbreaking. So if you haven't heard from me for a week or more, I believe I'll be appropriately classified under "Death by Destiel" Seriously, have you read that already...and then see the video promo of it in YT? The video was epic, so I suggest you take a look at it! Good luck to me!


	8. Brothers' Sentiments

**AN: **Chapter 7 is up! Twist and Shout (I can dig Elvis) did kill me guys, just so you know. I had just been recently resurrected (during the announcement of the upcoming photoshoots for Jared, Jensen and Misha for the Season 9 promo). So uhm, there isn't really much to say today.

Just that I fucking hate my school's system.

**Disclaimer: **SPN. NOT. MINE. EVER.

* * *

_**Puzzles**_

**Chapter 7: Brothers' Sentiments**

* * *

Dean wondered if Cas had some necrophilia shit going on.

Really.

"_Would you like to go with me, Cas?" (to the cemetery)_

"_I'd love to." _

Really. He fucking loves to, like it's some groovy party he was inviting him to or a fancy dinner in a restaurant, but no, it was the deadliest place in Lawrence and Cas wanted to go with him.

To a stranger's resting place.

Not that it was bad or something, and he was the one who did the inviting anyway, but it was just weird to find someone who thinks going to the cemetery was pleasant. It was mostly depressing for Dean.

Castiel followed him as they went out of the house and into the road where the black 1967 Chevy Impala was parked. He whistled appreciatively at his car.

"This, Cas, is my real _baby._" He turned around to see if the other man was impressed.

Castiel smiled, for once understanding Dean's endearment to the vehicle. "She is very beautiful, Dean."

Dean beamed. "For that, you get to ride shotgun."

And when Castiel's smile fell into another confused frown, Dean rolled his eyes. He really shouldn't push his luck with this guy. "I mean, you know, sit beside the driver."

"Was I supposed to sit in the backseat if it weren't for my compliment then?" Castiel's brow furrowed.

Dean shook his head and winked at him. "Nah, just messing with you. Now get inside and sit pretty."

Castiel blushed and did as he was told. However, before he even got a step into the car, Dean's voice came from behind. "Mind the basket! My babies are there."

"Of course, Dean." He smiled again as he ducked his head in order to get into the car. He felt the man clap at his back and passed by him to get to the other side of the car.

When both were situated comfortably inside the car, Castiel buckling himself up and frowning at Dean's lack of interest in ensuring his own safety, the Winchester started the engine and revved up into the night.

* * *

"Where's bro 1 going with bro 2?" Gabriel turned to Sam as he watched his older brother get into the Impala from the window upstairs. He smiled fondly as he found the younger Winchester concentrating on his answers on the study table.

Sam let out a noise of annoyance. "Dunno." He groaned and pushed the paper roughly towards Gabriel. "Really, Gabe? Have you been listening to me at all? _It's Niagara Falls, not Viagra! _Real mature."

"Oh, I knew it was along those lines. Hey, at least give my credit for the rhyme." Gabriel winked.

Sam rolled his eyes at his friend's hopeless behavior. "They _don't _even rhyme, Gabe."

"Fine." The shorter boy pouted. "Be that way, Sammy. Be rude to your only friend."

Gabriel sat down on the chair opposite to Sam as he picked up his answer sheet. He distastefully crossed out Niagara then encircled his answer Viagra. Beside it, he placed a happy face. Sam watched all of this with amusement.

When the Novak noticed his friend's stare, he looked up. "What?"

"I wonder how you're a senior sometimes." Sam chuckled and then started to snicker at Gabriel's insulted glare. "No really, it's just that you seem so stuck in being a child. You love sweets, make sex jokes out of everythi—"

"But that's how seniors behave, duh." Gabriel deadpanned. "You're just trying to keep your level of maturity up with your height."

"…right." Sam rolled his eyes and huffed indignantly. "I'm not even gonna try."

"You're behaving like a little bitch again," Gabriel observed, narrowing his eyes on his best friend. "…what happened?"

Sam shook his head.

"Oh… what hasn't happened yet then?" When Sam looked at him bewilderedly, he scoffed. "Oh come on, you do know I can read minds."

"Or you just know me so well." Sam countered.

"Or I just know you so well." Gabriel agreed. "Anyway, really? What's up? You've just had your period last week and you're acting like you're having it again, Samantha."

Sam ignored the comment. "I don't know what to do for our first date."

"Sammy having big girl problems, huh?"

Sam gave him a look. "You're not helping, Gabe."

"Well, what do you want me to do? I'm a trickster, Jumbo Size, not friggin' cupid." Sam didn't notice the bitter look Gabriel had. "Just write her poems or something. Surely you can come up with something like that with your big brain and all."

"Nah." Sam remarked, lost in thought. "I don't think that'll work."

"Well, if that won't then I don't know what would anymore." Gabriel sarcastically spat, feeling irritated all of a sudden.

An awkward silence hung over them which Sam decided to break after a few minutes.

"You know…" The other boy said all of a sudden. "...today's my mom's death anniversary." Whatever ill feeling Gabriel was having towards the Winchester suddenly dissolved into thin air. "That's where they went to, you know, mom's grave, your brother and mine… Castiel went, and I didn't—and I'm supposed to be the son… the _son she saved_."

"I don't know why… I'm grateful yeah, very much. And I love her, I think I do…" Sam faltered. "I just wish I had known her like Dean did, even if just for a short time." Sam went on, his pace turning into a ramble. "I was _six months_, Gabe. S_ix months_ and every time we visit, Dean stares at me like he's expecting me to do something and then he looks so disappointed if I didn't—and I don't even know what he wants."

"Sam."

"It always felt like I'm walking on eggshells, treading slowly… It's supposed to be natural but sometimes it's just—"

"Sam, shut up for a moment."

When Sam obeyed with an embarrassed blush spreading on his cheeks, Gabriel continued. "I think you're over-thinking." Sam looked ready to argue over his claim so he rushed on. "Maybe you're the one thinking that—that you need to do something to show…your _gratitude_… and indirectly, you're expecting too much from yourself."

"Huh." Sam let out with a blank look. "That actually makes sense."

"Hey!" The other boy cried out indignantly.

Sam smiled solemnly as he looked at his friend. "Thanks, Gabe."

Gabriel beamed. "Anytime."

* * *

"You okay there?" Dean asked his passenger as he concentrated on the road before them. It was too dark to drive recklessly now and he has a safety officer on board who was still frowning upon him for rendering his seat belt useless.

"Yes, Dean."

"Good." He turned right into a narrow dirt path, and finally, he could see the kissing gates of the cemetery.

The impala slowed down and halted just after the entrance of the place.

"We'll have to walk from here." Dean informed Castiel, killing the engine. "If you don't mind."

Castiel nodded and worked on getting himself out of the safety belt while Dean got out of the car. Automatically, he went to the other side of the car and opened the door.

Castiel's blue eyes blinked at him, the belt that was strapped to him seconds ago was now slithering back to its holder.

Dean blinked back, finally realizing what he did.

The black-haired man stepped out of the car and into the brunette's personal space. "Thank you."

"Y-yeah." Dean mumbled, feeling the breath of the other man ghost against his lips. "No problem." His eyes traitorously trailed Cas' lips, as they always did when the man was too close, and he unconsciously licked his own—another routine action.

He turned around, not letting Castiel see the blush rapidly spreading on his cheeks and marched towards his mother's grave, all the time thinking why the other man was eliciting such reactions from him. The fall of footsteps behind him told him that older man was following.

He stopped in front of a whitewashed tombstone he knew so well.

"Well," He started, his voice constrained, just a whisper. "Here she is."

Castiel stood beside him and stared down at the stone. Something melancholic stirred inside him as he remembered his brother—he hasn't visited him for three months now and the guilt he kept at bay started to gnaw inside him.

"Hey Cas?" Said man turned to Dean. "Do you mind if… if I talk to her for awhile?"

Castiel shook his head. "Of course not, Dean. Take your time." He laid the basket on the grass, and pulled out the quilt that was inside it. He spread it over his side, whilst Dean was on the other, softly murmuring to his dead mother. Castiel didn't try to catch the words the eldest Winchester were saying—that was as good as intruding if he did. So he settled down in an Indian sit and prepared the platter of burgers and the pitcher of juice that had already run out of ice.

Dean joined him after 10 minutes.

"You should've started gobbling them down already, Cas, you didn't have to wait for me." Dean smiled sheepishly as he sat down beside the man, stretching his legs completely.

The man frowned at him, as if offended. "Nonsense, Dean. I made them them for you."

"Yeah, well," Dean took a burger then pushed the plate on Cas' direction. "I'm sharing."

"So…" Dean drawled, his mind going back to him opening the car door for another man, "…you fond of cemeteries?"

"Yes." Castiel answered simply. "Is that peculiar?"

"Damn right, it is. Buddy, I gotta tell you, that's the first time I heard someone say that at the prospect of going to a cemetery. _You can't love going to it. _That's not possible." Dean half-laughed, messily gulping a glass of orange juice.

"I do." Castiel said sincerely. "I always miss my brother…and going to his grave... it lessens that yearning."

Dean looked at him sadly. "Yeah?"

"Yes. It helps." He nodded, and then turned to Dean and smiled. "Sometimes."

Dean laughed lightly, shaking his head. "Well, you _are_ human after all." He teased.

Castiel chose to ignore the jibe in favor of drinking his glass of orange juice. Dean watched him through his peripheral vision, suddenly feeling thirsty himself. He reached for the pitcher which was across the platter, on Castiel's side, and at the same time, Castiel had angled his body towards the platter, intending to get another burger.

Green clashed with blue, their faces millimeters apart from each other. Dean could feel Castiel's breath against his face, and he could guess that the other man was feeling his.

Castiel smelled of the cheeseburgers they ate and something spicy that Dean didn't find unpleasant. It was lulling him, actually, fogging his mind, his sense of smell and touch oddly enhanced.

Castiel's big blue eyes were unblinking, staring right into him, short puffs of breath slipping from his pink lips that never failed to find Dean's interest.

Finally it dawned on him. Why he couldn't get back with Lisa. Why he didn't find the need to seek companionship with barmaids and diner clerks. Why he was perfectly content on working on puzzles instead of drinking himself crazy in some bar. Why he couldn't bear to see the man sad.

Why he invited him to his mother's grave when no one but family visited it.

Castiel.

Castiel was the reason. Unknowingly, the man wormed its way into Dean's, God forbid, _heart_.

"I'm going to kiss you now." Dean whispered, moving his face impossibly closer. Castiel's eyes widened for a second but he did not move back, instead his eyes fluttered close.

Their lips met.

And the rain went down on them. Strong, heavy rain that had their clothes soaked in just seconds but both didn't seem to mind—or realize that they were soaked for that matter. They were too far into the kiss to feel anything but the warmth of lips against lips.

When Dean realized it was raining, he remembered that his mother always told him she loved the rain.

Dean kind of felt that Mary approved.

* * *

**AN: **There it is! Fucking, there it is! It took me, what? 6 chapters and side chapter to finally have them share their first sweet kiss! And I still feel it was rushed. (Seriously, what is wrong with me and my turtle pacing?) Anyway, please tell me what you think! :) Drop a review and I'll drop an angel in front of you lawn! Free of charge. ;)


	9. Meeting at the Middle

**AN: **Hello~ The 9th installment is here! Sorry this got delayed. It's original upload was supposed to be 2 days ago but sadly, I forgot my filler where I write every plot I have about every chapter at my dorm room so I had to go back first before I could continue writing. It isn't that long as compared to the previous chapters, now that I've noticed, but I think this is a very important chapter. It defines both the relationships of the Winchesters and well, just see for yourself. Enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer: **Only the grammatical errors belong to me. Oh, and the plot of course.

* * *

**_Puzzles_**

**Chapter 8: Meeting at the Middle**

* * *

Sam Winchester looked out the window nervously.

He was _finally_ here, at some burger joint which Jess herself recommended, sitting patiently as he waited for her to come back from the restroom. It was sort of embarrassing that he was the one ordering the leafy green dish and it was his date setting her eyes on the meat but Jess didn't judge. And Sam was happy for that.

The scraping of a chair being pulled brought his attention back to the table and to Jess who was smiling at him.

"Hey."

"Hey." He greeted back, half-relieved she didn't do the CR escape girls do if they didn't like their date.

"I didn't take too long, didn't I?"

"N-nah." Sam shook his head, rubbing his sweaty palms together under the table. "The food isn't even here yet." He quickly added, feeling the need to talk more.

The blonde's eyebrows creased. "That's odd." She commented. "They usually don't take this long."

"Well…" The bell tinkered, signaling another customer entering the joint. "The place seems busy today."

"This is your first time here, isn't it?" Jess grinned as Sam blushed embarrassedly. Yes, this was his first time here, and it might probably his last. "It's _always_ busy here. People dig the burgers here, Sam. I thought you'd like it that's why I brought this place up."And when their orders came, Sam's salad being placed in front of Jess instead of him, Jess couldn't help but tease him more as the boy opposite to her flushed even harder. "Sadly, I was mistaken." She smirked as she pushed the salad towards Sam.

Sam passed the plate laden with burger and fries to her and their hands brushed on the process.

Jess blushed as she kept her hand to her side while Sam looked away, also blushing, out to the window.

His jaw dropped—well, not literally—at what he saw.

There was Castiel in his trench coat, walking along the sidewalk. His black mop of hair was easily recognizable and he was wearing glasses. He looked like he was on his lunch break—but that wasn't what shocked him. No, it was _who_ was walking beside Castiel.

His brother.

Dean.

Now for some this would seem normal. The two have developed what seemed to be an odd bond that started with puzzles, but a friendship nonetheless. For Sam however, it was nothing short of startling.

Because Dean's face was lit up in a way that Sam had only seen in him once and that was when he was talking about overhearing Dad and Uncle Bobby about giving him the Impala. It was refreshing to see that expression on his brother's face, but it was strange that it was Castiel, a man for that matter, was the one who brought it up.

Sam suddenly realized that he really didn't know if his brother had bisexual tendencies, he just always saw him as straight—a ladies' man even, if his occasional hookups were added to the equation.

"Sam?"

Sam turned to the voice calling for him and found Jess pouting. "I'm sorry for my teasing. You didn't need to ignore me though." She huffed.

"Oh." He said, realizing that he had continued staring at the window even if the duo had already passed by the joint. "No, no. It's not like that." He tried placating her. "I saw someone I knew… and it was just odd."

"Why?" Jess asked, lightening up at the thought that the Winchester wasn't fussed by her teasing, "Odd like seeing Boo Radley out in the park doing normal stuff and actually socializing?"

Sam smiled, liking her even more for her reference to a character in "To Kill A Mocking Bird".

"Something like that."

* * *

Dean asked Castiel to lunch.

And it was kind of making him panic.

Sure, after the not-so-chaste kiss they shared in front of his mother's grave, and thinking of it made him shiver, they went back to the car, none of them talking during the ride, almost as if both were still stuck on what had transpired. The silence wasn't awkward, however. It was comforting and natural and they were even able to wish each other goodnight with proper eye-to-eye contact.

That meant they were okay, right? That he was okay with this, and Castiel too? The man had practically told him about being indifferent to sexual orientation so did Cas consider them an item now?

Did Dean want him to consider them as something?

All of these questions started flooding his brain as he laid back on his bed yesterday evening and he knew he couldn't wait for another day to pass to sort things out—his newly acquired eye bags would prove this.

So he decided to visit the man of his thoughts as early as he could. He knew the man was an accountant, with the help of the oblivious Sam of course, and was able to procure out of his little brother quite easily, since the young man practically admired the older Novak and was nursing a nerd crush on him, where Castiel worked.

Which led them to now, the day after that fateful kiss, walking on the side of the road, on their way to a deli Castiel frequented during his lunch breaks.

"Is this your way of courting me, Dean?"

Dean almost tripped as his step faltered. Cas didn't seem to notice as he continued treading forward, so Dean had to jog slightly in order to catch up to the man.

"What?" He asked dumbly as if he hadn't heard the question properly.

"I asked if this was your way of—"

"No." Dean cut him off, and Castiel flashed a look of disappointment. "Th-that's not what I'm asking." Dean explained hurriedly as he saw the other man's expression. "I mean, what made you say that?"

"Oh." Castiel gave a small smile, realizing that Dean wasn't denying his assumption—_yet_, a voice at the back of his mind said. "I had hoped that after last night's event you would be interested to…" He didn't finish his sentence as he glanced hopefully at Dean who was jerkily avoiding his gaze.

"O-oh." Dean forced out, suddenly having difficulty with his voice. His Adam's apple bobbed as he walked a little faster. "Uhm." He closed his eyes and then took a deep breath. Goddamnit, he wasn't used to this. He was always confident when he talked with his prospects but the other man had already made him a stuttering mess with just a simple question.

He shook his head and decided to let go of his inhibitions and admit to himself what he really wanted. Last night had his mind brimming with denial, that he was not gay, and that he still loved tits, but right at this moment, as clear as the day that they were having, he found himself deeply attracted to Castiel.

He might have to surrender his membership to the League of Manly Men soon.

"Yeah." He nodded, finally looking back at the man. "I am." He grinned as he saw Castiel smile.

"So," Dean said, his mind going back to Cas' question that lead to his confession, "do you really want to be courted? Coz' I think we're already past that since we've already sealed the deal." Dean winked at him with a cocky smile, his confidence already back in place.

"Sealed the—"

"Kissed." Dean cut him for a second time. He smiled cheekily as he remembered the kiss and Castiel decided that he liked seeing that on Dean's face even if it was brash.

They continued to walk quietly after that, and only when they were seating inside the small deli shop did Cas decide to reply to Dean's question. They were seated quietly, opposite each other, in a table for two located at the very back corner of the shop.

"I'd like to be courted." He said in a small voice.

Dean found himself smiling. "Yeah?"

Castiel nodded, a small bush adorning his cheeks.

"Okay." He could do that, he thought. Court another man. Piece of cake. Or pie. Whatever rocked his boat—his very gay boat. Oh God. His cake would be having edible flowers all over it and his pie wouldn't be—

Suddenly, Dean remembered something and his eyebrows knit into a frown. "You gotta tell your boss you're not interested anymore then, man." His hand unconsciously gripped the utensil he was holding tighter as he imagined another man close to Castiel. It was surprising that he was suddenly possessive of the man when his previous relationships didn't put him in such a disposition.

"I never was." The blue-eyed man declared.

Dean looked away to hide his goofy smile.

* * *

The loud music did nothing but boost her confidence as the jeers were drowned into the rhythm the large speakers were spewing. She swayed her hips seductively, her curls following her every movement, as she slid her buttocks slowly against the pole. The spotlight accentuated her soft curves and she ran a hand sensually on her chest down to her toned stomach. She pushed her breasts, more of a habit than a form of seduction, and fell on all fours, crawling sexily on the stage towards the crowd.

As she reached the edge, a customer snuck in a couple of bills in her cleavage and she winked at him, her eyes promising something for later—somewhere much more private.

She stood up, recognizing the end of the music. Unclipping her bra from behind, her back facing the crowd that started to cheer loudly, she tossed the undergarment towards them without turning around and then exited the stage, wandering for a moment when would Clarence come and visit her.

**To Be Continued**

* * *

**AN: **There we go! Now guess who's the new character? Duh. Dean and Cas' relationship is just starting and another person is already trying to get into the picture! Tell me what you think? Leave a review because they will be appreciated! Whoever gets to guess the mystery woman gets a free candy!


	10. Mr Sprinkles

**A/N: **_Holla amigas! Chapter 9 is up! :) Decided for this to be a fluff chapter so we can have a glimpse of how their relationship develops before everything goes to the gutter. Yes, I'm evil. _

_Also, made and AO3 account. Look me up, Ranementality-I currently have one drabble written there, and you might want to read it, if you have spare time. Also if you want to prompt me, because I'm always up for a challenge, and that love writing oneshots sooo... prompt me at twitter! (shift+2)ranementality :)_

_I'm not going to promise anything now, as it shows that I'm not good at keeping them. Four words. I WILL FINISH THIS._

_And that **Marionette** is currently on hiatus and being rewritten. Sorry! _

**Disclaimer: **SPN not mine. Nuff said.

* * *

_**Puzzles**_

**Chapter 9: Mr. Sprinkles**

* * *

Dean was humming.

Dean was fucking humming.

Now, Sam wouldn't usually make a big deal out of this but his brother, Dean _fucking_ Winchester, was humming Glenn Medieros' _Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You_.

It was like a nightmare turning into reality as Sam peered at his supposedly alpha male brother. They were in the Impala, on their way to the Novaks, and Dean doesn't even seem to notice what he was doing. He occasionally tapped the rhythm on the wheel with his fingers and Sam practically cringed when he closed his eyes dramatically for a second _to feel_ the music.

So when the car pulled to a stop in front of the familiar cozy abode, Sam literally jumped out of his seat and into the sidewalk, robotically walking fast and rang the doorbell at once.

Dean, who was thankfully not humming anymore, caught up behind him.

The door opened, revealing Castiel, and Sam swore he heard someone stop breathing at that exact moment.

"Dean," He greeted, and then seemingly noticed Sam a little bit too late. "Sam," He added.

"Hey Cas," Dean smiled, stepping forward as Sam faded into the background. "You ready?"

"Ready?" Sam turned to them with a questioning frown. "Ready for what? Where are you going?"

"None of your business, squirt."

Sam gave him a bitchface and huffed, "Really, where are the two of you going?"

_"Really, it's none of your business."_

"_Sassy._ I like that." A voice, which was suspiciously coming from Castiel's behind, commented.

Sam craned his neck and saw his friend. "Gabe?"

"Another squirt," Dean muttered under his breath.

"Heard that, Dean-o," Gabe said as he stepped away from Castiel's shadow. He looked at Sam, frowning. "What are you still doing here? Leave the two lovebirds alone."

"L-lovebirds?" Sam spluttered, looking at Dean, who suddenly found the pavement interesting, to Cas, who looked completely unabashed.

"Yes!" Gabriel all but whispered. "Now come on, we have some studying to do."

Gabriel started pulling him inside but Sam struggled, turning around just in time to see Dean open the car door for Castiel.

_Well, shit._

* * *

"Where do you plan on taking me, Dean?" Castiel asked, nervously fiddling his fingers on his lap. He turned Dean who was busy looking at the road.

"Geez, Cas. You make it sound like I kidnapped you or something," Dean mumbled, shifting to fifth gear as they passed the school zone. He looked sideways to the man and found big blue eyes staring at him.

"W-what?" Dean asked, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned red. He quickly flashed his eyes back to the road. "Don't you think it's a lil bit late for you to have doubts if I'm some psycho killer or not? Besides, you'll have Sam and Gabe as witnesses in court if I ever did end up as one."

It was a harmless joke, just to let the awkward air between them dissipate. Or at least, that was what Dean thought. But when seconds passed and the man beside him had made no sound, no reaction whatsoever to his statement, Dean grew worried that Castiel was actually contemplating the thought of him being a psychotic killer.

Slowing down for a little bit, Dean looked at Cas. His head was down, starting at his fumbling fingers on his lap.

"Cas?"

"I…I don't like surprises," The man admitted, lifting his head to look at Dean with his puppy blue eyes.

And really, what could Dean say to that? "Would it ease your mind if I said I don't have any plans on killing you?"

A hint of a smile ghosted Castiel lips. "Maybe."

"Fine. I'm taking you to a bar I work at. I'd, uh, you know…want you to try their uhm, pie." Dean blushed, his words almost a ramble. When Cas gave him an amused look, he quickly added, "What? It's good!"

"I didn't say anything," Castiel said calmly, still sporting the amused expression.

Dean snorted. "Of course, you didn't. You were thinking it though."

When the older man gave him a bewildered stare, he told him again arrogantly, "Sherlock's my middle name, remember?"

"That is a good book," Cas commented, smiling fondly. He had just finished the book and he immensely enjoyed reading it, sometimes even finding himself rereading the cases the renowned fictional detective worked on.

"Yeah?" Dean looked at him while killing the engine. "What did you think about it?"

"I think that Sherlock and his doctor _friend_, John, wouldn't find the need to hide their partnership if they were born a century later."

"Saw that too, huh." He was now looking at Castiel's lips, watching with a daze, as if hypnotized by their movement. Something feral stirred inside him, something that he hadn't felt for a long time. It was overwhelming how easily this man could ignite something inside him—_anything_.

"It was hard to miss the subtext." Cas nodded, oblivious to Dean's blatant staring.

"Yeah, uh, it was." Dean gave a half-hearted nod, his eyes moving up to the other man's eyes. Castiel stared back at him, finally noticing.

"Would you mind if I—" There was no continuing his request because suddenly, moistened chapped lips were pressed against his, kissing the life out him. A pair of arms snaked around his shoulders, pulling him closer, his side pressing against the shifting gear.

There wasn't anything to complain though. It felt good—so fucking good in fact that his hands started moving on their own accord. One situated itself at the back of Cas' head, pulling him impossibly closer, while the other was gripping the man's perpetually messy hair. His tongue was busy mapping the other man's sweet crevice and then proceeding to alternate between sucking and biting the Cas' bottom lip.

"Dean," Castiel shakily breathed out in between the kissing. Said man nibbled his lower lip and he moaned involuntarily. His skin was heating up considerably fast and it felt like he was on the verge of combusting.

"Cas…" Dean pulled back, breathing heavily, only to kiss Castiel with renewed fervor.

The second kiss lasted for a minute before Cas was gently pushing him away, catching his breath. Dean gave a disappointed face but Castiel was having none of it.

"_The pie_, Dean," He reminded the Winchester as their foreheads fell against each other.

"Forget the pie, your lips taste better," Dean murmured, chasing Cas' lips but the man had resolve.

"No, Dean."

Dean's mouth quirked in what looked to be a pout, and then he sighed. "Okay. Come on, let's go, you tease."

They got out of the Impala and walked towards the resto/bar. Castiel's eyes squinted as he read the blinking sign. _The Roadhouse._

"They serve pie here?" Castiel asked aloud.

"You shouldn't get fooled by the name, Cas." Dean shook his head disapprovingly. "'Tis actually a decent joint."

They entered said decent join and were easily spotted by a blonde waitress.

"Dean!" She called, stopping in front of them, grinning widely at Dean. "Wanna relieve me of my shift?"

"Not today, Jo." He pulled Castiel by his side. "I'm with someone. Jo, this is Cas, Cas, Jo."

"Oh." Jo said, looking at the both of them suspiciously. "I see… yeah. Nice to meet ya." She cleared her throat. "Well, let me lead you two to an empty table."

When they were finally situated on a table, facing each other, Jo took off, not even bothering to take their orders. This confused Castiel.

"Why didn't she take our orders, Dean?"

"Aside from working here, I'm also a regular." Dean proudly pointed to himself. "Jo pretty much knows what I eat here all the time."

And sure enough, Jo came back with two plates of steaming pie and two bottles of beer for them. "Will that be all, gentlemen?" She asked in a sickly sweet voice that Dean knew she had already guessed who Castiel really was to him. "No sprinkles? Marshmallows? Anything?"

"Jo." "Candies? M&Ms? Skittles?" "Jo!"

"Sorry, Dean," She smiled, and then glanced tentatively at Castiel, "Cas. Couldn't resist." She gave the man a wink and sauntered back to the kitchen.

Dean ran his palm over his face and left it there, shaking his head in embarrassment.

"Your friend has a peculiar fascination with sweets," Castiel considered him with a quirked eyebrow.

Dean only groaned against his palm.

A moment of silence passed with Dean not bothering to fix his position, too perturbed (about the possibility that Ellen and Ash already knows too since Jo was a big gossip, and that the two took turns to take a peek from the kitchen door) to say something. He looked at Cas who's eyebrows were knit into a frown, burning a spot on the table.

"Whatcha thinking about, Cas?" He asked before he could even stop himself.

The man lifted his eyes from the table to Dean's green orbs and said with an effect that would make anyone assume that he had been thinking about the matter very hard, "I think I would actually like some sprinkles, Dean."

"Really? Dean gawked.

"Yes." Castiel nodded seriously.

Dean stared at him for a good while, torn between killing himself or glomping the man opposite him for his childlike antics. It was fucking cute and he stifled a _manly_ squeal, yes definitely manly, with the back of his hand.

He shook his head, smiling widely, and stood up. "Yeah, let me just tell Jo that."

And he did.

So what if Ash and Jo started erupting in peals of laughter after he had said his request? Dean stood his ground and didn't give much of a care even if it felt like he was on a display, especially with the way Ellen was looking at him.

His man wanted sprinkles and Dean was going to make it damn sure that he was fucking getting sprinkles.

**To Be Continued**

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**A/N: **_There we go! Thank you for staying with me through thick and thin! Grammatical errors are a bitch. No matter how you reread the chapter over and over again, they still pop up somehow. Anyone wants to beta for me? I seriously need someone to talk to for my ideas. I can return the favor. _


	11. Roller Coaster

**AN: **_I love you, guys. You guys know that right? So here is chapter 10! I know, I know. Very delayed. I'm trying though. A few chapters more and this baby is finished. I promise some Sam and Jess and Gabe on the next chapter! And I really don't know if I would be changing the rating for this story. You'll find out at the end why. _

_Accounting sucks._

_And a big thanks to my lovely friend, **ilanitaliaXD**, for beta-ing and providing feedback for this chapter. I'll be working soon on chapter 4, dear!_

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

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**_Puzzles_**

**Chapter 10: ****Roller Coaster**

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Dean wasn't as prepared as he thought when he knocked on Cas' door that Thursday night.

Especially when a perplexed, barely civil Gabriel opened the door.

"Were you supposed to go out tonight?"

That was kind of complicated.

See, in Dean's mind, they _were _supposed to go out tonight. Everything was set. The location, his baby, hell, he even had thought of topics to talk about even if he knew he didn't have to because a.) Cas would likely just stare at him all throughout the date and b.) oddly, he was okay with that. So really, all he needed was Cas' ass on the passenger seat.

Which brings us back to why it was complicated.

It was complicated, well, because Dean, with all his mental preparations and mild paranoia, hadn't really thought that maybe, just maybe, Castiel would be out himself that night.

"He's not home, isn't he?" Dean asked with a distressed look.

"Nope," Gabriel answered, stressing the p for no obvious reason. "Went out. Don't know where."

"Huh," Dean commented, a small frown creasing into his face. "Any ideas where he might be?"

"I really don't know, Dean-o. Lil' bro over here, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah." He grumbled, disgruntled over the fact that the night didn't start out as planned. "Thanks, uh, Gabe." He said awkwardly, giving his state of undress a brief glance.

"No problemo." Gabriel saluted offhandedly.

"I'll just—yeah." Dean walked away. Dragging his feet towards the Impala, his mind raced about the possible places he might find Castiel. He was tempted to call Sam and ask where nerds might be at this time of the day but immediately realized his stupidity. Sammy _was at home_. Castiel _wasn't_.

He sighed and went inside the Chevy. He made a mental note to avoid impromptu visits in the future and his mind angrily supplied that this was all Sam's fault.

"_Dad died and you're suddenly… suddenly all rainbow and happy." _

"_I just want to make sure you're sure about this. Cas—Castiel isn't… You can't just and make him an experiment."_

He wasn't. He really wasn't. Nothing had made him felt so surer than Cas. And Dean wasn't stupid enough to consider their relationship a mere whim. He'd lost a lot of things, a lot of opportunities because of his own issues and he was resolved to never let that happen again anymore. Sam should know that. Everyone should.

So he looked for Cas.

And it turned out that Cas wasn't really hard to find.

Not when he was in Dean's favorite strip joint.

It was the third place Dean checked out, and even before entering he knew it would be futile. It was around the area so it didn't hurt to stop by and actually try to look and it would probably be amusing _and_ disturbing at the same time to find the usually-stoic man here. But when he spotted that familiar mop of messy hair, the first thing he actually felt was relief.

He approached the man who was seated in a table on the far back of the place.

"Cas," He smiled. "Finally found you."

Cas' eyes widened when he saw him, something very akin to a deer-in-the-headlights look that made Dean suddenly remember where he was, that he was in a strip joint, and the goofy smile instantly disappeared from his face.

_Cas was in a strip joint. _

Fuck. It's just been a few days, a week at most and Cas was already in a strip joint.

"Dean," The other man said, and Dean reveled at the fact that he was so attuned to the man's voice that he could easily hear him amidst all the noise. "Take a seat."

Dean frowned but did as he said. "So," He pretended to look around. "A strip joint. I gotta tell you, Cas. You didn't seem the type."

"The type?" Castiel squinted at him, then turned to look at the stage. "What do you mean?"

Dean followed his gaze but could only see a couple of scantily clad women. What was he even expecting? "Y-yeah. You know, the type to visit dens of iniquity."

"I go here every week," Castiel supplied in a matter-of-fact voice.

"O-oh. Right." Finally dropping all pretenses that he wanted so badly to know, he asked, "Why is that?"

"I—" "Clarence!"

One of the barely dressed dancers came to the table, swooping a kiss on Cas' cheeks. Dean felt something dark bubble in his stomach and his throat suddenly felt dry.

"Meg," Castiel said her name with a smile. He didn't look the least flustered with her kiss. What the hell was going on?

"Took you long enough to visit me, Clarence," The stripper drawled. She sat beside Castiel and Dean was momentarily forgotten.

_Clarence?_

"I apologize. I have been… busy."

"Busy?" The woman called Meg pursed her lips. "Of course you are, darling. You're a tax accountant."

Dean could only stare as they interacted, his stomach churning unpleasantly. There was a bad taste in his mouth and he wanted to leave. Goddamnit, he didn't even know what his job was and this—her—Meg knows and called him darling.

He cleared his throat before he could stop himself.

Meg looked at him like he was badly suffering from constipation and he was suddenly tempted to say, "Go on, don't mind me, keep yourself plastered to my…" _My what, exactly?_ They weren't together. Not yet, as far as Dean knew. Castiel was still free to…goddamn. He just really wanted to leave.

"And, uh, who is this man?" Meg asked the blue-eyed man.

Castiel looked at him with a strange face and answered, "This is Dean. He is my…" He trailed off, frowning at himself. Meg started to frown too as she looked between both men, waiting for Castiel to finish his statement.

And because Dean is the ever self-harming, masochist who is full of insecurities, he saves the man and piped in, "Friend! I'm Dean, Cas' friend. Yes! That's me." His voice came out forced and squeaky but it hardly mattered compared to what he was feeling.

Castiel continued to look at him in the strange way and Dean just stared back, the confusion and hurt obvious in his eyes.

It was Meg's turn to clear her throat.

"Ah, yes, friends." She exclaimed and there was a change in her demeanor. She stuck her body even closer to Castiel's. "I suddenly remembered when I first met you!" Her voice was now a note higher and she was talking solely to Castiel and pointedly ignoring Dean. "You were new to this place all confused and looking like a flasher. Probably was your first friend, huh?"

"You were." Castel affirmed, oblivious to the fact that she was provoking Dean.

"Hmm, see that, Dean? I was his first friend!" She turned to him, her smile with a smug undertone that made Dean unconsciously grit his teeth.

"That's nice." He forced out.

"Yes." Castiel nodded, totally in agreement. Meg turned back to Castiel and engaged him in an animated reminiscing about "their past", totally omitting Dean from the conversation.

Dean didn't know what to think. Or feel for that matter. He felt so left out, finally knowing what it felt like to be a third wheel and although Castiel spared him worried looks once in a while, it didn't help Dean from thinking downright melancholic thoughts.

Suddenly, Castiel interrupted Meg in the middle of her sentence, which the latter didn't take too well, finally realizing just how broken Dean looked at that moment. A thin hand reached out and placed itself on top of Dean's clasped ones, surprising the mechanic. "Are you okay, Dean?"

Said man flushed as Meg simply gave a resigned smile at the display of affection, as if she knew what was going on between the two all along.

"Yeah." Dean mumbled.

"Well," She removed herself from being plastered to Cas, "Next round is about to come up. I'll have to leave you boys on yourselves. Enjoy my next dance, Clarence." She winked at the man, and this time, Castiel did blush.

She stood up, and Dean didn't have the strength left to glare at her and contented himself with simply following her with his gaze. She stopped by his side, bent down and whispered, "Two things. $300 tip or room 541 at the downtown motel. Now guess which one is true, green eyes."

Dean's eyes widened at this and he looked up to see her give him a final smirk and move away, her hips swaying deliciously. Now that he had a proper look at her face (and body), she did, in fact, look familiar.

Dean blanched.

_No way._

"Dean," The man opposite him squeezed his hands. "You're not looking well. Maybe we should go?"

Dean licked his lips and tentatively looked at the stage. "That's… actually a good idea, Cas. But, uh, how about Meg? Wouldn't she want you to uhm, wait for her?"

"I am sure she will understand," Castiel reassured him, withdrawing his hand.

"Yeah, okay," Dean nodded. "Let's go."

Outside, the fresh air did nothing to quell the thoughts that were playing on his mind, the confusion that consumed him and that bit of hurt that he nursed. He felt like he was four again, in the cabin alone with a wailing Sam and a mother that never came back. And he hated it. Hated that Cas could illicit such reactions from him, resurfacing the feelings he buried years ago along with his mother.

Cas made him realize just how much he didn't truly love Lisa and how much he thought he did. Because if being with Cas was like this, a frigging rollercoaster of emotions, then the only thing that he and Lisa _really shared_ was a bed.

"Dean?" Castiel was now really worried about the mechanic. Given that they were usually quiet when they were together, it wasn't _this_ quiet. Nor was there any of this tension.

"Cas," Dean finally said, sitting on the edge of a long plant box, and placed his head on his hands. "You can't do this to me, man."

"What am I doing to you, Dean?" Castiel asked softly, sitting beside him.

Dean revealed one eye to look at Cas. "Like this man. Make me feel hot one moment and then cold all of a sudden. Make me confused and… I don't know," And he mumbled something so soft that Castiel wasn't able to catch it.

"Make you feel what?" Castiel gripped his elbow lightly, egging him to go on.

"Vulnerable," He acquiesced, removing his face from his hands. Looking directly at blue orbs, he bared himself and continued, "You make me feel so vulnerable, Cas."

"Is that a good thing?" Castiel's hand moved from his elbow to his bare arm and Dean shifted closer.

"Yes. No. I really don't know," He chuckled. "I guess it depends."

"Maybe," Castiel leaned closer, his breath now tickling Dean's neck and making his hair at the back of his prickle. "We should find out."

"You're doing it again." Dean groaned, aware of the warmth rapidly spreading through his body.

"What?"

"Making me feel all hot and flustered." Dean pointed out, still baffled on how Castiel could easily make him bipolar.

"I can do better." And suddenly the man was pressing a kiss against his skin and Dean shuddered, closing his eyes just to open them again in shock when he realized this was actually sweet, innocent Castiel who was propositioning him.

"Wait—are you—were you drinking before I came?" He placed a hand against Castiel's chest and pushed him lightly to look at his face. Now that they were no longer under dim lighting, he could see that the other man's face was flushed.

"Maybe a little."

"A little, my ass." Dean snorted as Castiel invaded once more what was left of his personal space. He placed both of his hands on Castiel's opposing shoulders and pushed him away again. "As much as I like where this is going, I think I'm more concerned about the fact that we're in public, that I'm still upset and that you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk." Castiel protested though he let Dean manhandle him to the car.

"Come on now, Dionysius, inside we go." Dean instructed after he opened the car door of the passenger seat so that the inebriated tax accountant could go in.

"You're flattering, Dean, but I'm not a Greek god." Castiel reminded him.

"I know that Cas," Dean said exasperatedly from outside. He went to the other side and sighed. He stayed there for awhile, just thinking.

As much as he wanted to move things forward with Cas, he knew for a fact that they weren't officially together yet and that he really didn't want Cas to regret it the morning after when he realizes that everything happened because he was under the influence of alcohol. What more is that Dean didn't want Cas to feel that he had been taken advantage of.

Although Cas wasn't really that drunk, just bordering on tipsy to be honest, Dean wanted the both of them to be sober for their "first time", a true testament to the sincerity of his intentions to the man.

_Take that, Sam! _He thought triumphantly.

He opened the car door, already decided, and sat—only to be subjected to probably the most intense gaze he had ever been under. Like Cas wanted to tear him apart, eat him alive or whatever arousing sadistic brutality his mind could supply.

Dean gulped and started the engine.

He just hoped he could survive the night with his chastity intact.

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**A/N:** _There we go! What do you think? There's this study where reviews have a direct relation with the speed of updates. Just saying. Leave me your thoughts! Preferably, written. Lots of love._


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